Random Thread

[Yalensky]

I'm pretty sure that means that the landlord would like a notice of whether you've decided to move out or renew the lease at least 60 days before the expiration of the current lease. Just a simple statement either way. Unless I'm missing something?

[Moose-tache]

Anyone else planning to participate in NaNoWriMo?

[Man in Space]

Anyone else planning to participate in NaNoWriMo?

Yes!

[Raphael]

In a demonstration of my, let's say, "unusual" idea of what constitutes "fun", I spent some time translating some of my favorite excerpts from an old German history book on 19th century history into English. They are from Golo Mann's contribution "Political Developments 1815-1871" in a multi-volume, very Europe-focused "world history". While I wouldn't recommend the book in general, which hasn't aged well, I quite like the excerpts that I translated. Would anyone be interested in checking the translation for examples of bad grammar or bad English? The book itself has apparently been out of print for a while. I've got the impression that the most difficult part was deciding where to place or not place commas.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1W5- ... sp=sharing

[Travis B.]

In a demonstration of my, let's say, "unusual" idea of what constitutes "fun", I spent some time translating some of my favorite excerpts from an old German history book on 19th century history into English. They are from Golo Mann's contribution "Political Developments 1815-1871" in a multi-volume, very Europe-focused "world history". While I wouldn't recommend the book in general, which hasn't aged well, I quite like the excerpts that I translated. Would anyone be interested in checking the translation for examples of bad grammar or bad English? The book itself has apparently been out of print for a while. I've got the impression that the most difficult part was deciding where to place or not place commas.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1W5- ... sp=sharing

Just to consider the first sentence, starting a sentence with "strange was" is a very "poetic" construction in English (remember that modern English does not have nearly as strong a tendency to front adjectives and adverbs to emphasize them as German). I would put the subject first and place "strange" after "was" in English.

[Moose-tache]

Anyone else planning to participate in NaNoWriMo?

Yes!

Do you have any special process for preparing beforehand?

[rotting bones]

I'd like to try NaNoWriMo some time.

Raphael: I'm not a native speaker of English, but is this sentence compatible with standard style manuals?

To turn Egypt into a permanent ally, into a kind of protectorate, now, when the conquest of Algeria went on step by step and all that remained between Egypt and Algeria were the weakened and unstable territories of Tunis and Tripoli, and, in this way, control the Mediterranean Sea from its western to its eastern end - that was a goal which, if it could be reached, might finally compensate for Waterloo.

Are you sure you wouldn't rather go with something like this?

At this time, the conquest of Algeria went on step by step and all that remained between Egypt and Algeria were the weakened and unstable territories of Tunis and Tripoli. To turn Egypt into a permanent ally, into a kind of protectorate, now, and, in this way, control the Mediterranean Sea from its western to its eastern end - that was a goal which, if it could be reached, might finally compensate for Waterloo.

Let me know if this is only a problem for non-natives.

PS. This sentence looks ungrammatical:

Not an Egypt depending on France was supposed to control Syria, and not Russia as protector of the Porte, either.

I think it should be:

An Egypt depending on France was not supposed to control Syria, and Russia was not supposed to be a protector of the Porte either.

[zompist]

Raphael: your English is very good, as always. The translation is bookish, though— at first I thought it was actually a 19th century text (for which this style would be appropriate). I'm not sure what the best way is to translate Mann's long sentences, but they come across as very old-fashioned.

Some random specific suggestions:

Chamber of Pairs > Chamber of Peers

"emigrants" sounds strange, as they're not leaving but returning; I think we refer to "émigrés" in the context of the French Revolution.

that which had been tried > what had been tried

once it had been given, he was not allowed to take back or modify unilaterally > he was not allowed to take back or modify unilaterally once it had been given [just one example where an adverbial sounds better at the end of a sentence rather than the beginning]

sure, the sacred vial had been broken > true, the sacred vial had been broken ["sure" is too colloquial here]

one was told > it was explained

to cover him with the valuable liquid - Was there enough in the vial to give him a bath? I would have expected "sprinkle" or "anoint"

instead, as in the old days > rather than, as in the old days [you can't have "instead to destroy"]

too, was shocked > was also shocked

jeered about the medieval show > jeered at the medieval show

aesthetic, also moral judgments > aesthetic and moral judgments

he had not made the best experiences > he had not had the best experiences

brought the world, no one knew, what > brought the world no one knew what. [Or perhaps better: brought the world something unknown.]

[rotting bones]

If random little corrections are okay, do you think "...for the consequences" sounds better?

If he would not immediately restrict himself to hereditary rule over Egypt and only lifelong rule over southern Syria, he would be responsible for any consequences.

PS. Another little correction:

If there would be a war, one would also fight, belatedly, for Poland, would re-open the Belgian question, and even that of the French borders of 1815.

"One would" sounds strange. "France would"?

PPS. I don't trust myself to make small corrections. Here's one I'm sure of:

Two songs written at the right moment, "The Watch on the Rhine" and "They Shall not Have it, the Free German Rhine", won enormous popularity; Prussia put its troops in the West on a war footing.

The semicolon should be a period.

PPPS. Ungrammatical:

The honor, the humiliation of France, that would be the language of the newspapers; not of people in positions of responsibility.

PPPPS. Sentence fragment:

Dialectics, if one wants to see it that way; by no means meaningless coincidence.

Maybe:

Dialectics, if one wants to see it that way, but this is by no means meaningless coincidence.

PPPPPS. Maybe consider breaking up these sentences:

The Austrian administration of Lombardy was good for as long as the Italians put up with it; it inevitably became bad *because* the Italians would no longer put up with it; against insurrectionist criticisms by the subjects, against rebellion and high treason, there had traditionally been no other means than prison and strict punishments.

[rotting bones]

There were a few more questionable semicolons.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this. I would read more of your translations.

[dɮ the phoneme]

Random thought: nobody around here seems to use X-SAMPA much any more, I wonder why that is? Back when I first joined it was at least as common as IPA.

[zompist]

Random thought: nobody around here seems to use X-SAMPA much any more, I wonder why that is?

Well, it's gotten easier and easier to use IPA, so there's really no reason anymore to approximate it.

[Travis B.]

Random thought: nobody around here seems to use X-SAMPA much any more, I wonder why that is?

Well, it's gotten easier and easier to use IPA, so there's really no reason anymore to approximate it.

I personally do use X-SAMPA, but as input to an X-SAMPA to IPA converter. I personally think that IPA looks way nicer than X-SAMPA, but is much harder to type, even with an input method specifically for it. (I tried that once for a while, but I would always keep on accidentally switching modes, and forgetting how to switch back.)

[Man in Space]

Anyone else planning to participate in NaNoWriMo?

Yes!

Do you have any special process for preparing beforehand?

Not really. I try to have a general idea of where the story is going, and I have to do some conlanging for it, but I don’t have any ritualistic customs or anything.

[alynnidalar]

I'll also be participating in NaNoWriMo this year. I was a pretty strong pantser for several years (I'd start with a vague idea of the beginning and characters, a bit more about setting (which has always been my favorite part), and that's it), but in the past few years I've been doing a great deal more planning and outlining. Flying by the seat of your pants can be a lot of fun, but inevitably I hit a point where I run out of reasonable ideas and don't know how to pull everything together. I find it much harder to construct coherent plot and character arcs that way. Short stuff, that's not too much trouble. Episodic stuff, pantsing is practically designed for that. But a long single narrative, I have difficulty managing if I don't plan things out.

As for how I prepare, I've used a number of different outlining and planning methods. Lately I've been liking Katytastic/Kat O'Keefe's 3 Act 9 Block 27 Chapter approach. I don't slavishly follow it but I find it gives me enough structure and organization without feeling too constrictive. A lot of people swear by the Snowflake Method but it's too repetitious for my tastes... Save The Cat (originally for screenwriting, but adapted for novels as well) is another popular approach but despite owning the book I haven't actually read up on it so I can't comment.

This year I'll be rewriting a sci-fi story I pantsed for a NaNoWriMo several years ago--I always liked the setting (near future-ish waterworld, everyone lives on subs and floating cities and in underwater domes) but the plot was a mess. I don't expect much conlanging, unfortunately, aside from maybe some slang, but at least there's conworlding to do.

[Risla]

I'd like to, but I'm starting a new part time job and my schedule is going to be all over the place. Not sure I'll have the time. Going to try for a much more reasonable goal of 20,000 words, I think.

[Raphael]

Thank you for the corrections, Travis, rotting bones, and zompist! I've incorporated most of them. I guess I was often too hesitant to break up the long, complicated sentences of the original.

[Linguoboy]

I tried to request a mail-in ballot from the County Clerk's website three weeks ago, but they couldn't find my registration because it wasn't linked to a state ID number. I followed the instructions and called and the person who answered asked if I'd like a callback "today or tomorrow". I hung close to the phone and never received a call. After a week, I concluded it wasn't coming, dug up a paper application I'd been sent via the mail, and sent that in instead.

Saturday, I finally got my ballot. And this morning, I finally got my callback.

[Richard W]

Random thought: nobody around here seems to use X-SAMPA much any more, I wonder why that is? Back when I first joined it was at least as common as IPA.

Better fonts, better keyboards. (It appears we have bin Laden to thank for better keyboards! I'm not sure I believe it.)

[quinterbeck]

(It appears we have bin Laden to thank for better keyboards! I'm not sure I believe it.)

Source/explanation??