Confusing headlines

[linguistcat]

Straight males get off on women, regardless of how they identify.

What... does that have to do with women finding other women attractive?

Apparently women being anything other than asexual sexualizes them in the eyes of cisgendered heterosexual males, even when their sexuality is directed not at men but at other women...

Oh, asexual women get sexualized too as they're seen as a "challenge". But I still don't see what it has to do with how women feel about other women, which is the "queer reading" that this started with.

[Travis B.]

What... does that have to do with women finding other women attractive?

Apparently women being anything other than asexual sexualizes them in the eyes of cisgendered heterosexual males, even when their sexuality is directed not at men but at other women...

Oh, asexual women get sexualized too as they're seen as a "challenge". But I still don't see what it has to do with how women feel about other women, which is the "queer reading" that this started with.

The part about the "queer reading" being the "cisgendered heterosexual male reading" is the idea that cisgendered heterosexual men would read anything, however a stretch interpretation-wise, sexual into something involving women even when said reading does not involve sexuality aimed at men in the first place.

[Linguoboy]

From right here on the ZBB!

No, I do not want "updates" to a program I use to deploy without warning and end up making the program worse!

[doctor shark]

From right here on the ZBB!

No, I do not want "updates" to a program I use to deploy without warning and end up making the program worse!

What, you haven't had software you're using update without warning and screw things up or make things unusable? (There are reasons I have auto-update on my personal computer very much disabled.)

[Linguoboy]

From right here on the ZBB!

No, I do not want "updates" to a program I use to deploy without warning and end up making the program worse!

What, you haven't had software you're using update without warning and screw things up or make things unusable? (There are reasons I have auto-update on my personal computer very much disabled.)

You're missing the ambiguity here. You meant:

No, I do not want "updates" [to a program [that I use]] to deploy without warning and end up making the program worse!

but:

No, I do not want "updates" [to a program [that I use to deploy without warning and end up making the program worse]]!

is also a possible interpretation.

[Linguoboy]

Honestly I don't know if this one is so much ambiguous as just badly formatted.

‘Savage Town’: ‘The Bob’s Burgers Movie’ Co-Animator Lighthouse Studios Developing Crime Drama Series Based On Graphic Novel (Deadline)

[Creyeditor]

Lebenslange Freiheitsstrafe für Raubmord am Hamburger Michel

Sounds like someone murdered either a person called Michel from Hamburg or a church, but it's really the place where the murder happened.

[Man in Space]

From Futurist:

Astronomers discover heaviest element yet in exoplanet’s atmosphere

Did they find an unusually heavy element by atmospheric standards, or did they find element 119 and just happened to do so in an exoplanet’s atmosphere?

[bradrn]

James Webb Space Telescope reveals new surprises on galaxy organic molecules near black holes

[Man in Space]

From our friends at the Associated Press:

Asteroid exploring spacecraft passes over Earth

[Zju]

Is it really confusing? Asteroids can't explore spacecrafts.

[Man in Space]

If they’d used a hyphen (“asteroid-exploring”) it would eliminate that second reading for me. But also…does it “pass over” Earth physically or did it reject it as a target of study?

[Man in Space]

How Police Fund Surveillance Technology Is Part of the Problem

Is the bankrolling of tech the issue or is it surveillance tech specifically relating to the Police Fund that is the issue?

[Linguoboy]

Woman critical in extra-alarm apartment fire in Chicago's Hyde Park (WGN)

Maybe it's just my perceptions of Hyde Parkers[*], but I had to read this twice to understand that the woman was in critical condition and not just complaining about the apartment fire and/or the emergency response to it.

[*] Hyde Park, where I lived for years, is essentially a college town run by University of Chicago.

[bradrn]

Sydney’s lockdown suburbs denied the truth

[alynnidalar]

Whitmer kidnap plotter's kin rally to save him from life prison term

Took me a couple tries before I realized that no, the governor of Michigan did not kidnap anybody.

[Raphael]

From liberal-leaning news website Talking Points Memo:


Inside The Tangled Web of George Santos
An alleged ponzi scheme, get-rich-quick seminars, AOC's challenger, and a network of mysterious Florida businesses.


I had to read the first three paragraphs to figure out that George Santos is associated with the guy who challenged AOC in the House election, as opposed to being that challenger himself.

[Qwynegold]

Here's a headline in Swedish: KRISTALLRIKEN

First I was like crystal what...? Because I read it as:

kristall-rike-n
crystal-realm-PL

But what they actually meant was:

kris-tallrik-en
crisis-plate-DEF.C

The article was about how people's eating habits have changed with the inflation.

[Linguoboy]

Man Dies in Chicago Lawn Fire (Chicago Sun-Times)

(Chicago Lawn is the name of neighbourhood within the city of Chicago. The man died in an apartment fire.)

[Travis B.]

Man Dies in Chicago Lawn Fire (Chicago Sun-Times)

(Chicago Lawn is the name of neighbourhood within the city of Chicago. The man died in an apartment fire.)

When I read that I wondered for sec just how does one manage to die due to one's lawn being on fire (unless one is, say, passed out drunk and lying in the middle of the lawn while it is aflame).