How did the early drafts of APAF differ from the final version?
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zompist
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Re: How did the early drafts of APAF differ from the final version?
The earliest draft, as I've said, was a Hypercard stack. The Areopolis text adventure is an adaptation (and expansion) of this and gives a good feeling of how it worked. I think this covers about a third of the book.
The interactive bits are sadly lost in the novel. E.g. in the Peace Army section you had to actually run back and forth to seek out department numbers; and in the Commerce Association chapter you had to decide which people to hang out with.
The narrative was originally entirely chronological, but I was worried that there was too much exposition, so I toned that down and moved the arriving-in-Okura chapter to start the book. I condensed some of the Areopolis stuff, as it made sense only in an exploratory environment.
Once it existed as a text, I don't think there were very many huge changes. Based on feedback from readers, I went back and added some material to a) make it clear that Kumari was a bad guy, and b) make Morgan less obnoxious. One change I remember: putting the frozener, Cramer, into the Cardinal Richelieu section.
There were also a few small but key edits to facilitate readings where Morgan is female. Also, as about ten years had passed since I'd written the first material, there were political references to update. I think the first draft had more references to the 20th century.
In the New Bharat section, I think I kept strengthening the character of Haikoa. I used to worry that the plot didn't quite make sense, and in almost all cases the answer was something about Haikoa.
Ah, thought of something else: I did a technology pass through the book. I didn't have the idea of neurimplants worked out at first. So I had to add some references to Morgan's neurimplants, remove references to UI elements like keyboards that wouldn't exist, and in some cases explain why neurimplants couldn't solve a problem. Another change from the first draft was that Sihor used to orbit Sirius.
All this is from memory; I'm probably forgetting things. If I remember anything major, I'll add it here...
The interactive bits are sadly lost in the novel. E.g. in the Peace Army section you had to actually run back and forth to seek out department numbers; and in the Commerce Association chapter you had to decide which people to hang out with.
The narrative was originally entirely chronological, but I was worried that there was too much exposition, so I toned that down and moved the arriving-in-Okura chapter to start the book. I condensed some of the Areopolis stuff, as it made sense only in an exploratory environment.
Once it existed as a text, I don't think there were very many huge changes. Based on feedback from readers, I went back and added some material to a) make it clear that Kumari was a bad guy, and b) make Morgan less obnoxious. One change I remember: putting the frozener, Cramer, into the Cardinal Richelieu section.
There were also a few small but key edits to facilitate readings where Morgan is female. Also, as about ten years had passed since I'd written the first material, there were political references to update. I think the first draft had more references to the 20th century.
In the New Bharat section, I think I kept strengthening the character of Haikoa. I used to worry that the plot didn't quite make sense, and in almost all cases the answer was something about Haikoa.
Ah, thought of something else: I did a technology pass through the book. I didn't have the idea of neurimplants worked out at first. So I had to add some references to Morgan's neurimplants, remove references to UI elements like keyboards that wouldn't exist, and in some cases explain why neurimplants couldn't solve a problem. Another change from the first draft was that Sihor used to orbit Sirius.
All this is from memory; I'm probably forgetting things. If I remember anything major, I'll add it here...