Ares Land wrote: ↑Mon Apr 24, 2023 1:08 pmYou may be a bit too hard on yourself. I'd be really surprised to hear you denied a job or housing, on the basis of race, or denied promotion on grounds of gender, or even disparaged female colleagues at the water cooler.
Whether you realise it or not, this is a tactic oft used by conservatives and liberals alike of defining the standard of "racism" or "sexism" in such a way as to never implicates one's own actions and behaviours. "We don't have racism in this country--when's the last time a Black man got lynched for talking to a white women or had his house burned down for moving into a white neighbourhood? Sure, maybe Black men get stopped more often while driving or jogging in certain neighbourhoods, but that's not
real racism!"
I have the confidence of a mediocre white man and I'm not afraid to use it. I have often dominated meetings at the expense of female colleagues and let them do a disproportionate amount of work on various projects that I've taken equal credit for. I benefit from sexist double standards like being able to express emotions at work (like anger) that would have more negative consequences for women (let alone WOC) and slack off more while still getting positive reviews and, in some cases, more pay than them. And I would be really really surprised if none of the men on this board could say the same.
Ares Land wrote:What I mean is that I assume that everyone here, while none of us are angels (who are?), are doing their best.
I'm sure we are, but part of doing your best is continually educating yourself about what you could do better. That means learning about how the racist and sexist status quo benefits you in ways you're not even conscious of and devising strategies to counteract that.
For instance, not only do I consciously limit how much I speak up at meetings in order to give my female and POC colleagues more space to express their ideas, I openly encourage them to take advantage of opportunities that I have already benefited from. For instance, when there's a request for volunteers to present our work before the administration or the organisation or to take a particular training, I'll say, "I'm willing to do this, but I feel like this opportunity should go to someone who would benefit from it more." The administration knows me, they know what I think; hell, I'm supposed to schedule a meeting with the Dean this week to give him a piece of my mind. But my younger female colleagues are just as smart, capable, and talented as me and deserve more credit for that they're getting.
Ares Land wrote:Maybe try to care less about whether people your privilege allows you to avoid interacting with are saying things about you you think are mean and unfair and worry more about not actually contributing to the ills they're complaining about? How about that for an approach?
That's kind of a strawman, but maybe I wasn't clear enough because that's exactly the kind of approach I'm advocating for.
If it doesn't apply to you, then great, but there are regular posters here who spend a lot more time complaining about what certain largely marginalised folks are saying about white men then talking about what we should be doing to eliminate those folks' marginalisation, let alone doing it.
Ares Land wrote:A few years back I might have felt some sympathy for the shop owners, but by now the tactic is extremely obvious, and I am not walking into it anymore.
Here's a perfect example: During the summer of 2020, a beloved immigrant-founded independently-owned camera store in the Loop was looted and burned. It became the subject of dozens of sympathetic articles (see the References in
this Wikipedia article which was created in direct response to the fire) which prompted nearly a quarter million dollars in donations. It
reopened last year. Very few damaged and looted businesses on the (mainly Black) South Side were this fortunate.
