Zompist Bboard Again

[ʁ] > [ɾ]

[mɔ 'ɕæ i biu̯.la'ⁿdʑæɾ ɕiu̯ tu lu 'zi]
Mò chat ist bulangèr chu tou lou zis

*æ > *ɛ

[mɔ 'ɕɛ i biu̯.la'ⁿdʑɛɾ ɕiu̯ tu lu 'zi]
Mò chat ist bulangèr chu tou lou zis

Terminal [ɾ] > [j]

[mɔ 'ɕɛ i biu̯.la'ⁿdʑɛj ɕiu̯ tu lu 'zi]
Mò chèt ist bulangèr chu tou lou zis

Elision of pronouns and the copula, with regressive voicing assimilation, plus some orthographic reform

[mɔ 'ɕɛj biu̯.la'ⁿdʑɛj 'ɮdɮi]
Mò chè’rs bulangèr ch’tl’zis

[ɮ dɮ] >[ʒ dʒ]

[mɔ 'ɕɛj biu̯.la'ⁿdʑɛj 'ʒdʒi]
Mò chè’rs bulangèr ch’tl’zis

Hānau ʻia nā kānaka a pau me ke kūʻokoʻa a ua like ka hanohano a me nā pono

['ha:nau ʔia na: ka:'naka a pau me ke ku:ʔokoʔa a ua like ka ha'nohano a me na: 'pono]

Stress placement is random. Let's see what you guys can do with this.

We have not really destroyed the previous sentence here, so I am copying it in this post:

[mɔ 'ɕɛj biu̯.la'ⁿdʑɛj 'ʒdʒi]
Mò chè’rs bulangèr ch’tl’zis

Intervocalic unstressed [n] > [w̃] with nasalization of the preceding vowel:

['hã:w̃au ʔia na: ka:'naka a pau me ke ku:ʔokoʔa a ua like ka ha'nohãw̃o a me na: 'põw̃o]
Hānau ʻia nā kānaka a pau me ke kūʻokoʻa a ua like ka hanohano a me nā pono

Diphthongs become long vowels:

[mɔ 'ɕeː byː.la'ⁿdʑɛj 'ʒdʒi]
Mò chê’rs bûlangèr ch’tl’zis

[ʔ] fortifies to [t]

['hã:w̃au tia na: ka:'naka a pau me ke ku:'tokota a ua like ka ha'nohãw̃o a me na: 'põw̃o]
Hānau tia nā kānaka a pau me ke kūtokota a ua like ka hanohano a me nā pono

Devoicing of sibilants.

[mɔ 'ɕeː byː.la'ⁿtɕɛj 'ʃtʃi]
Mò chê’rs bûlangèr ch’tl’zis

Elision of [w̃]

['hã:au tia na: ka:'naka a pau me ke ku:'tokota a ua like ka ha'nohão a me na: 'põo]
Hānau tia nā kānaka a pau me ke kūtokota a ua like ka hanohano a me nā pono

Prenasalisation becomes gemination

[mɔ 'ɕeː byː.lat'tɕɛj 'ʃtʃi]
Mò chê’rs bûlangèr ch’tl’zis

[aː au] collapse to [ɔː], blocked by nasalisation:

['hã:ɔː tia nɔ: kɔ:'naka a pau me ke ku:'tokota a ua like ka ha'nohão a me nɔ: 'põo]
Hānau tia nā kānaka a pau me ke kūtokota a ua like ka hanohano a me nā pono

Breaking of initial-syllable long vowels

[mɔ 'ɕɛæ beœ.lat'tɕɛj 'ʃtʃi]
Mò chê’rs bûlangèr ch’tl’zis

*k > q / _B

['hã:ɔː tia nɔ: qɔ:'naka a pau me ke qu:'toqota a ua like ka ha'nohão a me nɔ: 'põo]
Hānau tia nā kānaka a pau me ke kūtokota a ua like ka hanohano a me nā pono

[ɕ tɕ] > [ç cç]

[mɔ 'çɛæ beœ.lac'cçɛj 'ʃtʃi]
Mò chê’s bûlangèr ch’tl’zis

[ão õo] collapse to [õː]:

['hã:ɔː tia nɔ: qɔ:'naka a pau me ke qu:'togota a ua like ka ha'nohõː a me nɔ: 'põː]
Hānau tia nā kānaka a pau me ke kūtokota a ua like ka hanohano a me nā pono

[ç cç ccç] > [h ç cç]

[mɔ 'hɛæ beœ.lac'çɛj 'ʃtʃi]
Mò chê’s bûlangèr ch’tl’zis

[h] > [χ] before back vowels, [q] always > [χ]

['hã:ɔː tia nɔ: χɔ:'naka a pau me ke χu:'togota a ua like ka ha'noχõː a me nɔ: 'põː]
Hānau tia nā kānaka a pau me ke kūtokota a ua like ka hanohano a me nā pono

Loss of *h with hiatus resolution

[mw_'ɛæ beœ.lac'çɛj 'ʃtʃi]
Moù’ heaî’s beôlacchèr l’tl’zis

*i lost when prevocalic, with *u fronting in response

['hã:ɔː ta nɔ: χɔ:'naka a pai me ke χi:'togota a ia like ka ha'noχõː a me nɔ: 'põː]
Hānau tia nā kānaka a pau me ke kūtokota a ua like ka hanohano a me nā pono

Diphthong smoothing with compensatory lengthening:

[mw_'jæː bjœː.lac'çɛː 'ʃtʃi]
Moù’ hiaî’s bieûlacchèr l’tl’zis

(Edit: I think maybe we can call French destroyed now. Maybe.)

[ai] > [eː]

['hã:ɔː ta nɔ: χɔ:'naka a peː me ke χi:'togota a ia like ka ha'noχõː a me nɔ: 'põː]
Hānau tia nā kānaka a pau me ke kūtokota a ua like ka hanohano a me nā pono

*p > *h

['hã:ɔː ta nɔ: χɔ:'naka a heː me ke χi:'togota a ia like ka ha'noχõː a me nɔ: 'hõː]
Hānau tia nā kānaka a pau me ke kūtokota a ua like ka hanohano a me nā pono

Quantitative metathesis of length onto stressed syllables

['hã:ɔː ta nɔ: χɔ'naːka a heː me ke χi'toːgota a ia like ka ha'noːχõ a me nɔ: 'hõː]
Hānau ta nā kànâka a hê me ke kitôkota a ia like ka hanôhano a me nā pono

*KV sequences lost following long vowels

['hã:ɔː ta nɔ: χɔ'naː a heː me ke χi'toːta a ia like ka ha'noːχõ a me nɔ: 'hõː]
Hānau ta nā kànâka a hê me ke kitôkota a ia like ka hanôhano a me nā pono

*m > *b

['hã:ɔː ta nɔ: χɔ'naː a heː be ke χi'toːta a ia like ka ha'noːχõ a be nɔ: 'hõː]
Hānau ta nā kànâka a hê me ke kitôkota a ia like ka hanôhano a me nā pono

Vowel length > gemination of preceding consonant in the same word if present and medial, and [ʕ] otherwise

['hãʕɔʕ ta nɔʕ χɔn'na a heʕ be ke χit'tota a ia like ka han'noχõ a be nɔʕ 'hõʕ]
Hānau ta nā kànâka a hê me ke kitôkota a ia like ka hanôhano a me nā pono