The Contradictory Feelings Thread

[Risla]

A couple of things:

I have a big dumb crush on my boss. We click super well and I strongly suspect, based on some pretty solid evidence, that it may actually be reciprocal…but he's my boss and also already in a relationship. Crushes like this are the epitome of contradictory feelings, I feel. They feel so good, but then you have to keep reminding yourself why you have to be disappointed.

The other thing is that my novel is coming along very well, but I'm not sure that the working title I have for it, which I REALLY like (The Runaway God), is the best fit anymore. I have another decent title option (The Discarded Worlds) but it's not as evocative as the original title.

[Travis B.]

I don't know what I want to do with zeptoforth now, because everything I have wanted to put in which feels appropriate for a microcontroller (e.g. fixed point arithmetic, basic mathematical functions, interrupt-driven IO, cooperative multitasking) has already been put in, and everything else I would want to put in (e.g. a line editor, preemptive multitasking, a heap allocator, high level datastructures) does not feel appropriate for a microcontroller.

[alice]

everything else I would want to put in (e.g. a line editor, preemptive multitasking, a heap allocator, high level datastructures) does not feel appropriate for a microcontroller.

Even so, put it in. Not everything has to be approriate

[Travis B.]

everything else I would want to put in (e.g. a line editor, preemptive multitasking, a heap allocator, high level datastructures) does not feel appropriate for a microcontroller.

Even so, put it in. Not everything has to be approriate

The problem is that I need to penny-pinch with RAM, since these devices have RAM measured around 128K of RAM. Also adding a preemptive multitasker would add a considerable amount of complexity, as nice as it sounds.

[Ryusenshi]

The other thing is that my novel is coming along very well, but I'm not sure that the working title I have for it, which I REALLY like (The Runaway God), is the best fit anymore. I have another decent title option (The Discarded Worlds) but it's not as evocative as the original title.

Mark Rosewater, head designer of Magic: the Gathering, did an article about working titles (https://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/a ... 02-08-12-0). Working titles tend to grow on you. So he deliberately picks codenames that are so silly, nobody in their right mind would ever consider keeping them for the final release.

[alice]

In a previous job, one of our more important systems ended up being called "Kevin" because I suggested it as a joke and nobody could think of anything better.

[Travis B.]

I got preemptive multitasking working with zeptoforth... with the minor exception that it crashes if anyone enters any input...

[Pedant]

I feel cursed. I honestly do. I try to protect everyone I can, but it seems like trying to improve myself or my lot means facing down the wrath of some god or demon or something. I try to work with my dad to start a new career in real estate? COVID blows up and nobody wants to buy a house. I get my act together for school and start work on projects in earnest? My best friend’s cousin dies, the same day. And it’s been like this for years.
The question is: is it my seeking to improve things that causes this pain to everyone around me? Or is it me being lazy, and the result of that laziness in the eyes of the gods is punishment for those around me as a reminder of what I’m like?

[KathTheDragon]

Neither. Bad things just happen, and when they happen close to really good things, you take note of that and then observer bias takes over.

[alice]

I have to be discreet here, but I'm currently working on a programming project as the final part of what is effectively a job application. Nothing about it is beyond my ability, but if I mess it up I have to wait a long time before I can try again. It feels a lot like the Sword of Damocles is hanging over me, and I won't be surprised if I finish it several kilograms lighter than when I started.

[Raphael]

I have to be discreet here, but I'm currently working on a programming project as the final part of what is effectively a job application. Nothing about it is beyond my ability, but if I mess it up I have to wait a long time before I can try again. It feels a lot like the Sword of Damocles is hanging over me, and I won't be surprised if I finish it several kilograms lighter than when I started.

Good luck!

[alice]

(stuff)

Good luck!

Thank you. Because of my illness opportunities like this have been few and far between, so it's particularly important that I get it right.

[Ares Land]

Good luck, and keeping fingers crossed for you!

[Travis B.]

I third the good luck!

[rotting bones]

I'm not sure how my final exam went. My mother says that means it went well. Apparently, my judgment can't break the circle of "horrible" and "mixed". I never say something is good unless it's close to perfect.

How convenient. Just what I want to hear.

[Travis B.]

I have gotten a really nice board to play with, the STM32F746 DISCOVERY board. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, I am not motivated to actually write software for this board despite just now neat the thing is, so it is just sitting untouched (aside from being removed from its packaging) on my dining room table next to my home laptop.

[alice]

It came to nothing in the end; I was well out of my depth. But at least I learned something from it.

[Raphael]

Oh. Sorry!

[Linguoboy]

In my splendid isolation, I've been spending lots of time on Facebook the last couple days watching friends grapple with this week's events and doing some processing there myself. It's interesting to see the variation in people's reactions. The words "sacred" and "violated" were thrown around quite a bit in reference to the Capitol building and I got the sense a lot of folks were horrified on a very visceral level to see a ragtag band of fascist cosplayers tramping around inside of it like they owned the place.

I didn't have that same reaction. No, I wasn't happy to see them there, but more because I was simply appalled at how bad the internal security was. Apparently, it's easier to get into Nancy Pelosi's office than it is to get into mine (guarded, as it is, by the cutting-edge technology of door with a keypad lock and window too small to crawl through). As far as I'm concerned, it's just an office building. Was having protesters on the steps more of a "violation" than having one Representative call his colleague a "bitch" on them? Is it more of a disgrace having Water Buffalo Grand Poobah guy sitting in the Majority Leader's chair than Mitch McConnell?

But what did make me see red was the reports that--if not for the prompt actions of Senate aids--electoral ballots would have been seized and destroyed. Because while the building isn't sacrosanct, its functions are. I've got mixed feelings about the American experiment, but the only thing which makes it tolerable at all is universal suffrage. Take that away and it has all the legitimacy of the cool kids table in the high school cafeteria. And that is quite nearly what these would-be Putschistas did.

I also have deeply mixed feelings about the police response. On the one hand, I still think ACAB and I'm furious that an agency we fund to the tune of a half billion PER YEAR, the Capitol Police, singularly failed to justify the only reason for existing. On the other hand, I actually got choked up watching that lone officer try to make a last stand against the marauders on an interior staircase and hearing that another died of his injuries. And while I absolutely want to see the perpetrators face justice, I have deep misgivings about "helping" the FBI and other intelligence agencies who have relentlessly hounded leftists for the merest infractions track down and identify the criminals who should never have been allowed to walk out the door in the first place.

I could go on, but the point is it's all stirred up a lot of complicated emotions about our national government and my relationship to it and I'm still sorting those out.

[Rounin Ryuuji]

In my splendid isolation, I've been spending lots of time on Facebook the last couple days watching friends grapple with this week's events and doing some processing there myself. It's interesting to see the variation in people's reactions. The words "sacred" and "violated" were thrown around quite a bit in reference to the Capitol building and I got the sense a lot of folks were horrified on a very visceral level to see a ragtag band of fascist cosplayers tramping around inside of it like they owned the place.

I didn't have that same reaction. No, I wasn't happy to see them there, but more because I was simply appalled at how bad the internal security was. Apparently, it's easier to get into Nancy Pelosi's office than it is to get into mine (guarded, as it is, by the cutting-edge technology of door with a keypad lock and window too small to crawl through).

I felt roughly the same. I don't have an office, but I think quite a lot of places have much better security than that. I was also annoyed at how my tax dollars would have to be spent to repair the damage, and how...

As far as I'm concerned, it's just an office building.

I think it's a pretty old thing. The furniture and design are really very nice, from what I can see. I like pretty old things. Don't break my pretty old things that are expensive to repair when I want my tax money spent on other things. Also, wipe your feet and don't break windows. Also don't make the office carpets dirty. If you're going to be right wing, at least be one of those pleasant evil people.

(Note the bitter sarcasm.)

Was having protesters on the steps more of a "violation" than having one Representative call his colleague a "bitch" on them? Is it more of a disgrace having Water Buffalo Grand Poobah guy sitting in the Majority Leader's chair than Mitch McConnell?

Arguably no, McConnell has done so many things to damage the country having the weird cosplay guy there was potentially an improvement — he's probably too stupid to actually do anything nearly so harmful on such a vast scale.

But what did make me see red was the reports that--if not for the prompt actions of Senate aids--electoral ballots would have been seized and destroyed. Because while the building isn't sacrosanct, its functions are. I've got mixed feelings about the American experiment, but the only thing which makes it tolerable at all is universal suffrage. Take that away and it has all the legitimacy of the cool kids table in the high school cafeteria. And that is quite nearly what these would-be Putschistas did.

I also have deeply mixed feelings about the police response. On the one hand, I still think ACAB and I'm furious that an agency we fund to the tune of a half billion PER YEAR, the Capitol Police, singularly failed to justify the only reason for existing. On the other hand, I actually got choked up watching that lone officer try to make a last stand against the marauders on an interior staircase and hearing that another died of his injuries. And while I absolutely want to see the perpetrators face justice, I have deep misgivings about "helping" the FBI and other intelligence agencies who have relentlessly hounded leftists for the merest infractions track down and identify the criminals who should never have been allowed to walk out the door in the first place.

I have the same mixed feelings. I will say, however — let them redeem themselves, if they can.

I could go on, but the point is it's all stirred up a lot of complicated emotions about our national government and my relationship to it and I'm still sorting those out.

Reasonable.