Venting thread

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malloc
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Re: Venting thread

Post by malloc »

There are two major obstacles to therapy. First, given the political tilt of where I live, it seems doubtful that any therapist would even sympathize with my situation. Second, my problems are external rather than psychological.

Let me stress that this is no rash decision in response to minor and temporary inconveniences but the culmination of years of declining quality of life combined with utter catastrophe. When my mother passed away at only 51 after months of pain and misery, I accepted it as part of growing older. When the supreme court destroyed abortion rights, I accepted it as the lingering hangover of the Trump years. When the tech industry nuked human-made art and literature with generative AI, I grit my teeth and accepted that humans just couldn't make a living in the arts anymore. When Trump defied all expectations and won reelection, I held out the faint hope that he would provoke a backlash that would lead the GOP to defeats in 2026 and 2028. Now that he has his Reichstag fire, the MAGA regime has a permanent lock on power.

How many more catastrophes must I endure before you would be satisfied that I have suffered enough? Would it take the public execution of my favorite Youtubers for being transgender? Would it matter if the tariff situation forced my factory to shutter, putting me out of work?
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Re: Venting thread

Post by linguistcat »

malloc, what have you actually DONE in that year? Not what have you thought about or said, what have you DONE TO CHANGE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES? If you haven't done anything, you can't say you were "giving things a chance to turn around". You were just twiddling your thumbs. As much as I can understand how hard it is to make changes, especially when you're depressed, especially when the world has gone to shit, but it can and does happen. But it won't if you don't change yourself first.
A cat and a linguist.
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malloc
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Re: Venting thread

Post by malloc »

Realistically what could I have done? Not one of the problems I listed were remotely under my control. My circumstances are the product of billionaires and millions of reactionary voters. There is literally nothing that I as an individual could possibly have done to change my current situation.
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Re: Venting thread

Post by zompist »

malloc wrote: Thu Sep 11, 2025 6:54 pm Second, my problems are external rather than psychological.
No, they're not. A hundred million people are in the same political situation as you-- and tens of millions are in similar economic situations-- and they are not fixated on suicide.

You catastrophize. That is not external, it's internal.

Now listen very carefully.

My offer stands to pay for your first session of therapy.

You won't, however, use the board to keep avoiding therapy, to keep fixating on suicide. It is not healthy for you, and it is also not healthy for the rest of us here. We are not trained professionals.

If you have questions about how to get therapy or what it involves, you can ask. Anything else, including arguing and suicide threats, I will delete.
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Re: Venting thread

Post by Darren »

malloc wrote: Thu Sep 11, 2025 6:54 pm There are two major obstacles to therapy. First, given the political tilt of where I live, it seems doubtful that any therapist would even sympathize with my situation. Second, my problems are external rather than psychological.
Why don't you just give it a try anyway? If it doesn't work, you'll have the satisfaction of having been right over all of us, and if it does work, even better.
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Re: Venting thread

Post by alice »

malloc wrote: Thu Sep 11, 2025 6:54 pmFirst, given the political tilt of where I live, it seems doubtful that any therapist would even sympathize with my situation.
It is their job to sympathise with you, which is why you need to see one. I speak from experience: being able to speak to someone without the fear of being judged is very liberating.
"But he had reckoned without my narrative powers! With one bound I narrated myself up the wall and into the bathroom, where I transformed him into a freestanding sink unit.

We washed our hands of him, and lived happily ever after."
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malloc
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Re: Venting thread

Post by malloc »

alice wrote: Fri Sep 12, 2025 2:32 pmIt is their job to sympathise with you, which is why you need to see one. I speak from experience: being able to speak to someone without the fear of being judged is very liberating.
Except that most people where I live consider left wing politics on the same level as pedophilia or terrorism. I cannot assume any therapist around here will listen without judgement. Indeed it would defy everything I know about this area to make such an assumption.
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Re: Venting thread

Post by Travis B. »

malloc wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 12:27 pm
alice wrote: Fri Sep 12, 2025 2:32 pmIt is their job to sympathise with you, which is why you need to see one. I speak from experience: being able to speak to someone without the fear of being judged is very liberating.
Except that most people where I live consider left wing politics on the same level as pedophilia or terrorism. I cannot assume any therapist around here will listen without judgement. Indeed it would defy everything I know about this area to make such an assumption.
I can assure you that most people where you live, much the less therapists, almost certainly don't view left-wing politics as being in the same category as pedophilia or terrorism.
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Ennadinut'a gaare d'ate eetatadi siiman.
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malloc
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Re: Venting thread

Post by malloc »

Travis B. wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 12:31 pmI can assure you that most people where you live, much the less therapists, almost certainly don't view left-wing politics as being in the same category as pedophilia or terrorism.
How would you even know? Have you even visited Missouri let alone lived for decades here?
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Re: Venting thread

Post by alice »

For pity's sake, malloc, what do you actually want?
"But he had reckoned without my narrative powers! With one bound I narrated myself up the wall and into the bathroom, where I transformed him into a freestanding sink unit.

We washed our hands of him, and lived happily ever after."
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Re: Venting thread

Post by /ˌnɐ.ˈɾɛn.dɚ.ˌduːd/ »

"If you think you are powerless, then you are." — Monica Ali
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Alyen of Dúr is bound to me
and from this day all nature hails
the future Keeper of the Scales!"
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Re: Venting thread

Post by Man in Space »

malloc wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 1:47 pm
Travis B. wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 12:31 pmI can assure you that most people where you live, much the less therapists, almost certainly don't view left-wing politics as being in the same category as pedophilia or terrorism.
How would you even know? Have you even visited Missouri let alone lived for decades here?
Therapists are answerable to different authorities than local legislatures. It is professionally required for them to treat you fairly and as you come to them. They are also prohibited from disclosing your political leanings unless you give them leave to. I’ve put my foot in my mouth epically a few times with my therapist, and she has never denigrated me for it.

Go to a therapist. Else, nothing will change for you.
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malloc
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Re: Venting thread

Post by malloc »

alice wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 2:56 pmFor pity's sake, malloc, what do you actually want?
The only remotely reasonable demand I can make at this point is escape from this horrible and ever worsening world. Everyone here insists that I have the moral obligation to suffer an endless gauntlet of catastrophes for the rest of my life. We all know that barring an incredible miracle, things will not improve and I am tired of pretending otherwise.
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Re: Venting thread

Post by /ˌnɐ.ˈɾɛn.dɚ.ˌduːd/ »

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right." — Henry Ford
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Re: Venting thread

Post by MysteryMan23 »

malloc wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 3:32 pm
alice wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 2:56 pmFor pity's sake, malloc, what do you actually want?
The only remotely reasonable demand I can make at this point is escape from this horrible and ever worsening world. Everyone here insists that I have the moral obligation to suffer an endless gauntlet of catastrophes for the rest of my life. We all know that barring an incredible miracle, things will not improve and I am tired of pretending otherwise.
We just don't want you to die!

That's all! That's literally all!

I know it doesn't always seem that way, but we do care about you. We would all be sad to hear you were dead.

Please, malloc. Please don't kill yourself.
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Re: Venting thread

Post by /ˌnɐ.ˈɾɛn.dɚ.ˌduːd/ »

MysteryMan23 wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 3:49 pm
malloc wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 3:32 pm
alice wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 2:56 pmFor pity's sake, malloc, what do you actually want?
The only remotely reasonable demand I can make at this point is escape from this horrible and ever worsening world. Everyone here insists that I have the moral obligation to suffer an endless gauntlet of catastrophes for the rest of my life. We all know that barring an incredible miracle, things will not improve and I am tired of pretending otherwise.
We just don't want you to die!

That's all! That's literally all!

I know it doesn't always seem that way, but we do care about you. We would all be sad to hear you were dead.

Please, malloc. Please don't kill yourself.
what he said ↑
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Alyen of Dúr is bound to me
and from this day all nature hails
the future Keeper of the Scales!"
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Re: Venting thread

Post by Darren »

malloc wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 1:47 pm
Travis B. wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 12:31 pmI can assure you that most people where you live, much the less therapists, almost certainly don't view left-wing politics as being in the same category as pedophilia or terrorism.
How would you even know? Have you even visited Missouri let alone lived for decades here?
The 2024 election results in Missouri were 58% Republican to 40% Democrat, with a 64% turnout rate. That means that 62% of the voting population did not vote for Trump. Any person you meet is less likely to have voted for Trump than not.

You will now tell me that the 36% who did not vote are all fascist Trump supporters. No they aren't, a lot of people genuinely don't give a shit about politics, even now, and if they don't have to vote they won't. If someone things leftism is as bad as pedophilia, they are going to turn out to vote.
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Re: Venting thread

Post by Nortaneous »

malloc wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 3:32 pm
alice wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 2:56 pmFor pity's sake, malloc, what do you actually want?
The only remotely reasonable demand I can make at this point is escape from this horrible and ever worsening world. Everyone here insists that I have the moral obligation to suffer an endless gauntlet of catastrophes for the rest of my life. We all know that barring an incredible miracle, things will not improve and I am tired of pretending otherwise.
The horrible and ever-worsening world is largely a prison of your own creation. You rule out every course of action without trying. Do you know that every therapist in your area is a Republican? Apparently, even though it's one of the most Democratic-leaning occupations in the entire US! Did you know that? Did you look? 40% of Missouri voters voted for Harris in 2024 and your state has multiple DSA chapters.

Can the course of action be ruled out without even trying? According to the theoretical model you rotate in your head, yes, no matter what it is!

This is extremely distorted thinking. Your condition will improve once you address that, and will not improve before. Talk to a doctor, or a witch if you can find a good one. (No one who calls themselves a witch is a good witch, so don't look for a good witch unless you know what a witch is.)
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Re: Venting thread

Post by Darren »

And if you happen to live in St Louis, may I point out that the city was strongly Democrat with a landslide of 80%? If you try a therapist in the city, it sounds like there's a fucking good chance they'll be a Democrat.
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Re: Venting thread

Post by malloc »

MysteryMan23 wrote: Sat Sep 13, 2025 3:49 pmWe just don't want you to die!

That's all! That's literally all!

I know it doesn't always seem that way, but we do care about you. We would all be sad to hear you were dead.

Please, malloc. Please don't kill yourself.
But what is the point of living when life sucks? Every day is horrible for me and it will only get worse for the foreseeable future.
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