Zompist Bboard Again

Posted: **Sun Dec 12, 2021 7:37 pm**

I can't sleep.

Posted: **Mon Dec 13, 2021 10:47 am**

When I made my most recent patch release of zeptoforth, I also introduced a change that I thought would be an optimization - but which from further thought, after the release had already gone out, likely would break things in some cases - which I had missed because my simple test program to test this case was too simple and failed to catch this. So in my master and devel branches I reverted things this morning, but did not have the time to put out another patch release - and furthermore I negated all the performance gains I had achieved. Overnight, when I was supposed to be sleeping, I was instead thinking about how to optimize it and have the code be safe, which I will have to implement once I get home from work - but I don't know if I'll have time for both that and putting out another patch release..

Posted: **Mon Dec 13, 2021 4:55 pm**

I had a really bad grief attack late Saturday night that left me depressed for the rest of the weekend. I'm still not over it, to be honest. It was all the worse because Saturday had actually been a really good day. I had a lunch date with my current crush and took him over to a friend's for a game day. Everyone got along great, we had so much fun that our host ordered pizza so we could keep playing, and I left completely blissed out. Then, out of nowhere, a dark cloud descended and wiped all that away.

It's not completely out of nowhere; after all, Friday was the fifth anniversary of the death of my husband, so I should've expected some grief. But the day itself I felt perfectly at peace; I just did a little something to commemorate him and went on with things. It was very frustrating, not least because it took me so long to figure out what was happening and this despite the fact that I'm always counseling others that grief finds a way in no matter what you did and you simply have to be prepared for that and ride it out the best you can when it does.

Posted: **Mon Dec 13, 2021 5:17 pm**

Oh, that's really horrible, Linguoboy. Wishing you strength!

Posted: **Mon Dec 13, 2021 5:22 pm**

Sorry to hear that, Linguoboy. Hope things are better soon.

Posted: **Mon Dec 13, 2021 7:13 pm**

Linguoboy wrote: ↑Mon Dec 13, 2021 4:55 pm I had a really bad grief attack late Saturday night that left me depressed for the rest of the weekend. I'm still not over it, to be honest.

[Insert virtual hugs here]

It was all the worse because Saturday had actually been a really good day. I had a lunch date with my current crush and took him over to a friend's for a game day. Everyone got along great, we had so much fun that our host ordered pizza so we could keep playing, and I left completely blissed out.

Congratulations on the date going well, though.

Then, out of nowhere, a dark cloud descended and wiped all that away.

It's not completely out of nowhere; after all, Friday was the fifth anniversary of the death of my husband, so I should've expected some grief. But the day itself I felt perfectly at peace; I just did a little something to commemorate him and went on with things. It was very frustrating, not least because it took me so long to figure out what was happening and this despite the fact that I'm always counseling others that grief finds a way in no matter what you did and you simply have to be prepared for that and ride it out the best you can when it does.

Sometimes, with things like this, it's all you can do.

Posted: **Tue Dec 14, 2021 7:06 am**

Friday, I lost a dear friend. I had one day of mourning before I found out another friend who I had less contact with had been ill and passed about a month back. And her other friends and I only found out this late because her family either didn't know to contact us, or didn't care. Even her boyfriend only found out from her mother's facebook, and told us relatively quickly after that. I'm so tired, and work hasn't helped get my mind off things either.

Posted: **Tue Dec 14, 2021 8:09 am**

Linguoboy wrote: ↑Mon Dec 13, 2021 4:55 pm I had a really bad grief attack late Saturday night that left me depressed for the rest of the weekend. I'm still not over it, to be honest. It was all the worse because Saturday had actually been a really good day. I had a lunch date with my current crush and took him over to a friend's for a game day. Everyone got along great, we had so much fun that our host ordered pizza so we could keep playing, and I left completely blissed out. Then, out of nowhere, a dark cloud descended and wiped all that away.

It's not completely out of nowhere; after all, Friday was the fifth anniversary of the death of my husband, so I should've expected some grief. But the day itself I felt perfectly at peace; I just did a little something to commemorate him and went on with things. It was very frustrating, not least because it took me so long to figure out what was happening and this despite the fact that I'm always counseling others that grief finds a way in no matter what you did and you simply have to be prepared for that and ride it out the best you can when it does.

Ouch. I'm really sad to hear that. Hope things get better soon. Anniversaires have a way of being painful.

linguistcat wrote: ↑Tue Dec 14, 2021 7:06 am Friday, I lost a dear friend. I had one day of mourning before I found out another friend who I had less contact with had been ill and passed about a month back. And her other friends and I only found out this late because her family either didn't know to contact us, or didn't care. Even her boyfriend only found out from her mother's facebook, and told us relatively quickly after that. I'm so tired, and work hasn't helped get my mind off things either.

That's awful. I'm terribly sorry for your losses.

Posted: **Tue Dec 14, 2021 9:59 am**

Sorry for you losses, linguistcat.

Posted: **Tue Dec 14, 2021 11:28 am**

Thanks for the kind words, everyone.Still struggling, but today seems a bit less bleak.

linguistcat wrote: ↑Tue Dec 14, 2021 7:06 am Friday, I lost a dear friend. I had one day of mourning before I found out another friend who I had less contact with had been ill and passed about a month back. And her other friends and I only found out this late because her family either didn't know to contact us, or didn't care. Even her boyfriend only found out from her mother's facebook, and told us relatively quickly after that. I'm so tired, and work hasn't helped get my mind off things either.

I'm so sorry. That's an awful way to learn about something like this.

Posted: **Tue Dec 14, 2021 12:17 pm**

linguistcat wrote: ↑Tue Dec 14, 2021 7:06 am Friday, I lost a dear friend. I had one day of mourning before I found out another friend who I had less contact with had been ill and passed about a month back. And her other friends and I only found out this late because her family either didn't know to contact us, or didn't care. Even her boyfriend only found out from her mother's facebook, and told us relatively quickly after that. I'm so tired, and work hasn't helped get my mind off things either.

That really sucks.

Posted: **Tue Dec 14, 2021 3:57 pm**

Thanks for the well wishes. And linguoboy, I hope by years' end things are better for both of us.

Posted: **Tue Dec 21, 2021 5:44 pm**

I must have some connection to people currently at uni by the end of semester - being stuck at home is too ... grating with the same people

Posted: **Wed Dec 22, 2021 2:58 pm**

Today at lunch, it seemed to take my photochromic lenses forever to go from sunglasses mode back to regular, during which time I fumbled with my billfold trying to extract my credit card and bring it to the reader. When I got back to work, I realised I didn't have my work ID, which usually sits loose in my billfold. I called the restaurant and they said they didn't have it, but I decided to go back and check anyway. We half-dismantled the gerry-rigged front desk but couldn't find it. As I walked back to work, it occurred to me that I hadn't checked my wallet, where I used to keep the card before I got the billfold. Sure enough--after half an hour of completely unnecessary distress (replacing the ID would have been a pain with the current pandemic protocols), there it was.

Can I go home now?

Posted: **Sun Dec 26, 2021 7:33 pm**

Desmond Tutu has died.

Posted: **Sat Jan 01, 2022 10:06 am**

Travis B. wrote: ↑Sun Dec 26, 2021 7:33 pmDesmond Tutu has died.

And now Betty White as well.

The time has come to renew my lease and my rent has skyrocketed from $710 for the past two years to $870 this year. While probably not impossible to afford, it will require me to budget much more carefully now.

Also my heater just broke right as temperatures have fallen below freezing. That will cost hundreds or thousands that I can hardly afford and will have to wait until I have time off work.

Posted: **Tue Jan 04, 2022 3:31 am**

On a more trivial note, over the course of the last few minutes, the lamp on my desk went dark for a split second twice. This creeps me out a bit.

Posted: **Sun Jan 09, 2022 6:28 pm**

I feel awful. The next week and a half will make or break my career.

Posted: **Sun Jan 09, 2022 11:52 pm**

Good luck.

Posted: **Sun Jan 09, 2022 11:57 pm**

Thanks.

Zompist Bboard Again

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