Zompist Bboard Again

malloc wrote: ↑Wed Sep 30, 2026 11:08 pm Sorry if this sounds hostile, but why are you posting videos that aren't even watchable for the general public?

Valid question. Because there are a few folks who are interested in such things, and they may be willing to join my channel in order to watch. No pressure, tho. I'm perfectly aware that my stuff doesn't appeal to a wide audience.

Travis B. wrote: ↑Wed Sep 30, 2026 11:58 pm Why should I subscribe to your channel just to view a video (especially since I hate most vlogs with the exception of things where the visual aspects actually add something, e.g. vlogs about retrocomputing where vintage computers are actually shown)?

Honestly, you shouldn't. Especially if you describe your opinion as "hate" regarding vlogs...even tho my stuff isn't exactly that, or, at least not solely that.

While I would be thrilled if I amassed a large following and thousands of channel members, I remain a pragmatic realist. As a note tho, all "members only" vids will be released to the general public at a later date, for whatever that's worth to you.

If you want us to view your videos, you should not require us to subscribe to your channel to do so.

Travis B. wrote: ↑Thu Oct 01, 2026 3:22 pm If you want us to view your videos, you should not require us to subscribe to your channel to do so.

There are more than 60 videos on my channel, not counting shorts...none of those require any membership. Also, a slight nitpick...subscribing and "joining" are two different things. This slip may be insignificant, but it shows me that you're more interested in debating the merits of paying for content than understanding the actual situation.

Don't join...don't watch. I'm not "requiring" anyone to do anything. Did you see where I mentioned "all "members only" vids will be released to the general public at a later date"? I'm guessing you did, but maybe chose to ignore it so you could make your point.

I do think it’s important to remember that making videos takes a hell of a lot of time, and someone making 60 videos for a community is in my opinion entitled to set up a paid tier to appreciate their work, and to promote it.

No one is obliged to part with money, but I think it should be fine to ask for it politely.

Making just a couple of videos has been enough for me! If I tried to do much more, it would interfere with my paid work. What results is people looking for quiet ways to ask for remuneration if they contribute at a higher level. This is how civilisation happens...

well, conlanging is the highest level of work I know
which doesn't deserve payment,
which it's legal to plagiarize,
and which isn't copyrightable...

however, discussing it in a physical format can be sold,
including discussing other people's creations, so...

even if using a platform where everything is free,
even things that shouldn't legally be,
might not be the best business plan,
time will tell...

Zompist does raise an interest and perplexing question about my situation, namely that I feel terrible about problems that fundamentally aren't my own. Regardless of how far the Trump regime takes its reactionary program, the practical impact on my own life seems quite marginal. Despite that, I have always experienced the rise of MAGA and the global far right more generally as a personal catastrophe comparable to losing my job or even a family member. It really is worth asking why I feel so much personal investment in issues that belong to other people and whether it really makes sense.

malloc wrote: ↑Fri Oct 02, 2026 4:16 pm It really is worth asking why I feel so much personal investment in issues that belong to other people and whether it really makes sense.

To me the answer seems quite simple — it’s because you’re a good and empathetic person who cares deeply about other people’s problems even when they don’t directly affect you. That’s a good thing.

Nonetheless, it is important to be able to recognise whether something does or does not affect you. I think it’s significant that you have realised and posted about that. It doesn’t mean that you should stop caring, of course; what it means is that you can better assess your own priorities, in service of the goal of better taking charge of your own life and more effectively creating change in the world.

malloc wrote: ↑Fri Oct 02, 2026 4:16 pm Zompist does raise an interest and perplexing question about my situation, namely that I feel terrible about problems that fundamentally aren't my own. Regardless of how far the Trump regime takes its reactionary program, the practical impact on my own life seems quite marginal. Despite that, I have always experienced the rise of MAGA and the global far right more generally as a personal catastrophe comparable to losing my job or even a family member. It really is worth asking why I feel so much personal investment in issues that belong to other people and whether it really makes sense.

I'm glad you're having some realization of this.

Does it make sense to get upset over politics? Well, that depends on what you do with those feelings.

To make yourself feel bad and helpless, or contrariwise, to make yourself feel smart for seeing the problem? No, that doesn't make sense, it's a displacement activity. Much better to figure out how to take charge of your own life.

To feel empathy, and motivation to help those who are the real victims? That is appropriate, but I caution you that you need mentoring on this. Intuition along is not a good guide to what to do, or how to do it. E.g. you have to watch your doomerism, the last thing the oppressed need to hear is that everything is hopeless. You've done some things with the DSA, and I hope they can point out useful things you can do.

It is not wrong to concentrate on improving your own situation— e.g. finding a better job or apartment or city, or simply working on your mental health. You need health and resilience and companionship in order to help others.

malloc wrote: ↑Fri Oct 02, 2026 4:16 pmIt really is worth asking why I feel so much personal investment in issues that belong to other people and whether it really makes sense.

I know a few people like this, and I used to be one myself. The trick is to know when and how much it is reasonable to care, and the Serenity Prayer can come in handy here.

malloc wrote: ↑Fri Oct 02, 2026 4:16 pm Zompist does raise an interest and perplexing question about my situation, namely that I feel terrible about problems that fundamentally aren't my own. Regardless of how far the Trump regime takes its reactionary program, the practical impact on my own life seems quite marginal. Despite that, I have always experienced the rise of MAGA and the global far right more generally as a personal catastrophe comparable to losing my job or even a family member. It really is worth asking why I feel so much personal investment in issues that belong to other people and whether it really makes sense.

When I say fascism harms me, I mean that when it oppresses other people, that harms me too. We could have co-operated to enrich each other's lives: https://snapshotsofthelabyrinth.photo.b ... al-values/

Fascism hurts everyone: "... Then they came for me, And there was no one left To speak out for me," etc. The economic anxiety you always feel is caused by fascists. Naturally, you will be affected if society is destroyed.

I'm truly struggling right now. I lost my job recently and it's not been easy to find a new one. If anyone wants to help me out, i can DM a Gofundme, but it's not a demand from me or anything. I guess this whole situation has depressed me a lot. When you're broke, you're just not a complete person.

I keep resenting people who have had hobbies and talents for many years. Meanwhile, i'm almost 30, and i barely have life experiences let alone skills. Yes, i get it, talent is worked at not inborn. I have heard that a thousand times. That doesn't change how i seem to constantly see nothing but people who have had interesting lives and complete skills for many years, and i want to just catch up. The only exceptions seem to be people who don't mind living a more plain life, which isn't me. Like, what have i done besides conlang? Not even conlang all that well.

----

In less gloomy venting, how do you all manage to conlang if you have aesthetic holdups? To me, conlanging is first and foremost an art, so there will always be a focus on style that only exists in natlangs by accident. I start a lot of conlangs that i quickly scrap because i think they're ugly in some way- from orthography, grammar, semantics, the conworld around them. And yes, i've read that one Ira Glass speech about having good taste despite making nothing. In this case, i think finding my work ugly is an active inhibitor sticking thru my work because i cannot trust the process. Alternatively, maybe i should start work by blatantly ignoring aesthetics and just add them later. I can't be the only one who has had this thought.

Starbeam wrote: ↑Mon Oct 05, 2026 12:45 pm I'm truly struggling right now. I lost my job recently and it's not been easy to find a new one. If anyone wants to help me out, i can DM a Gofundme, but it's not a demand from me or anything. I guess this whole situation has depressed me a lot. When you're broke, you're just not a complete person.

I keep resenting people who have had hobbies and talents for many years. Meanwhile, i'm almost 30, and i barely have life experiences let alone skills. Yes, i get it, talent is worked at not inborn. I have heard that a thousand times. That doesn't change how i seem to constantly see nothing but people who have had interesting lives and complete skills for many years, and i want to just catch up. The only exceptions seem to be people who don't mind living a more plain life, which isn't me. Like, what have i done besides conlang? Not even conlang all that well.

----

In less gloomy venting, how do you all manage to conlang if you have aesthetic holdups? To me, conlanging is first and foremost an art, so there will always be a focus on style that only exists in natlangs by accident. I start a lot of conlangs that i quickly scrap because i think they're ugly in some way- from orthography, grammar, semantics, the conworld around them. And yes, i've read that one Ira Glass speech about having good taste despite making nothing. In this case, i think finding my work ugly is an active inhibitor sticking thru my work because i cannot trust the process. Alternatively, maybe i should start work by blatantly ignoring aesthetics and just add them later. I can't be the only one who has had this thought.

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things improve for you going forward. Many people have started late in life. Amor Towles was 46 years old when he published his first book, Rules of Civility, in 2011. I like the book. I feel like it benefits from the experience of an older man.

I'm not sure my advice is going to help. I can only suggest: 1. Immerse yourself in studying aesthetics. Particularly study schools of aesthetics that currently look ugly to you in order to expand your taste. 2. Actively try out different combinations in your art. 3. Instead of rejecting something as ugly immediately, try additional combinations that would make what previously looked ugly acceptable as part of a whole. When you zoom out from what looks like a stain, you see a brush stroke that forms part of a painting. 4. Revise your old work when you get new ideas.

Sorry if this is all obvious.

I appreciate the advice. All i have to add at the moment was that i consider the conlanging issues unrelated to the other stress, which is why i added the four dashes. But seriously, thank you, that does help a bit to give me the attention.

Sorry to hear that. But it is never too late to start something new.

I'm both sorry to hear this, and sorry that I can't offer either advice or assistance. But I can say that

Starbeam wrote: ↑Mon Oct 05, 2026 12:45 pm i'm [age], and i barely have life experiences let alone skills. Yes, i get it, talent is worked at not inborn. I have heard that a thousand times. That doesn't change how i seem to constantly see nothing but people who have had interesting lives and complete skills for many years, and i want to just catch up.

sounds quite familiar to me.

Good luck.

How d'yall deal with assholes at work? I happened to start woking on a particular project together with some narcissist that is trying to sabotage my work and frame me for incompetence, while lowkey vying to 'do' my work better using AI - "just" by the way...

Zju wrote: ↑Mon Oct 05, 2026 2:49 pm How d'yall deal with assholes at work? I happened to start woking on a particular project together with some narcissist that is trying to sabotage my work and frame me for incompetence, while lowkey vying to 'do' my work better using AI - "just" by the way...

https://youtu.be/Jy-PX9J-HBA

Starbeam wrote: ↑Mon Oct 05, 2026 12:45 pm In less gloomy venting, how do you all manage to conlang if you have aesthetic holdups? To me, conlanging is first and foremost an art, so there will always be a focus on style that only exists in natlangs by accident. I start a lot of conlangs that i quickly scrap because i think they're ugly in some way- from orthography, grammar, semantics, the conworld around them. And yes, i've read that one Ira Glass speech about having good taste despite making nothing. In this case, i think finding my work ugly is an active inhibitor sticking thru my work because i cannot trust the process. Alternatively, maybe i should start work by blatantly ignoring aesthetics and just add them later. I can't be the only one who has had this thought.

Languages each have their own aesthetic. I'd suggest letting them be "ugly" and focus on making them coherent instead.

A few of my languages are pretty and satisfying (e.g. Cuêzi, Sarroc). That's fine, but then there's no need to make another pretty language.

I'd point out that natlangs generally violate European-based aesthetics. Are the names Mahtab, Kako, or Zhiruo pretty and feminine? They are in Farsi, Japanese, and Mandarin respectively.

Starbeam wrote: ↑Mon Oct 05, 2026 12:45 pm I'm truly struggling right now. I lost my job recently and it's not been easy to find a new one. If anyone wants to help me out, i can DM a Gofundme, but it's not a demand from me or anything. I guess this whole situation has depressed me a lot. When you're broke, you're just not a complete person.

I’m really sorry to hear this. I’m sorry that I can’t personally help right now, but I hope you find some support soon. And that you have success finding a new job.

If I might offer some advice that has helped me: there are some constants that nourish and are free or very close. The air outside, sunshine, natural beauty. If you can get somewhere that isn’t exclusively the modern built environment without too much money for a bit of time to reflect and simply be, outside of your normal day to day, it might be helpful, if my own personal experience is transferrable here.

I keep resenting people who have had hobbies and talents for many years. Meanwhile, i'm almost 30, and i barely have life experiences let alone skills. Yes, i get it, talent is worked at not inborn. I have heard that a thousand times. That doesn't change how i seem to constantly see nothing but people who have had interesting lives and complete skills for many years, and i want to just catch up. The only exceptions seem to be people who don't mind living a more plain life, which isn't me. Like, what have i done besides conlang? Not even conlang all that well.

I hear you, and this is familiar to me. The comparison thing... Remember that the internet is a bizarre, warping lens. The same life that looks remarkable through it may not, in fact, be so sparkling, or easy, to lead. “I googled your name and was delighted to find that you are thriving in every possible way” ‒ words that I read from an estranged friend in the same week I was in the lowest depression of my life.

Your conlanging might seem great to someone else, by the way. Who is the objective arbiter?

Ultimately, I believe that you shouldn’t be evaluated purely based on a measure of your output. You’re a person, not an economy. You are something of value: living consciousness. You are remarkable, and you are enough.

Something I try and do when I get this way, which again I offer in case it help: hypothetically list things I could be grateful for, if I were going to try and max out on gratitude. The abstraction means you can engage in this even when you don’t feel it. Often, though, it has ended up making me feel pretty lucky to be alive. You can always start there:

1. I am alive. (Statistically, and objectively, this is a pretty big win.)

The continuation is up to you. I hope it may help.

In less gloomy venting, how do you all manage to conlang if you have aesthetic holdups? To me, conlanging is first and foremost an art, so there will always be a focus on style that only exists in natlangs by accident. I start a lot of conlangs that i quickly scrap because i think they're ugly in some way- from orthography, grammar, semantics, the conworld around them. And yes, i've read that one Ira Glass speech about having good taste despite making nothing. In this case, i think finding my work ugly is an active inhibitor sticking thru my work because i cannot trust the process. Alternatively, maybe i should start work by blatantly ignoring aesthetics and just add them later. I can't be the only one who has had this thought.

I used to realllly struggle with this. In the end I started to think that an aesthetic is like a patina, or a lichen, that grows over continued connected work. If you try and go directly for growing the aesthetic, you end up with little samples in petri dishes. If you keep attending to and growing an initially lumpy, ugly structure, however, the aesthetic grows over it.

I’ve read a bit about Hokusai recently. His woodblock prints start off as mere polygons sketched roughly on paper. They pass through stages including gouging meaningless shapes out of wood, and no doubt spilling and smudging much ink over paper that we don’t see. The end result may be an aesthetic triumph, but each stage is significantly ‘uglier’ by itself. And some of his prints, it must be said, are much lovelier than others.

Another artist who delved into ugly so far it became (sometimes!!!) beautiful is Harry Partch. Who was actually homeless for many years, before becoming a highly respected academic and the father of a whole field of microtonal music.

I hope you start to feel more centered soon. Money really helps, but you are infinitely valuable without it, too.

Zju wrote: ↑Mon Oct 05, 2026 2:49 pm How d'yall deal with assholes at work? I happened to start woking on a particular project together with some narcissist that is trying to sabotage my work and frame me for incompetence, while lowkey vying to 'do' my work better using AI - "just" by the way...

I don't think I have any kind of real solution, but a few things that help:

• Document anything fishy; take screenshots of Zoom/Teams conversations, back up emails. You can later use it to confront the asshole. In the event you have to get management or HR to do something, they won't move an inch unless you have plenty of evidence, so gather as much as you can.
• Avoid the asshole as much as possible. (I understand it's, alas, not always possible)
• Be extra polite and professional. (It'll help if it gets bad enough to involve HR)
• This is I think the hardest part, but try to be as firm as possible. There's a certain type of people who won't stop until they get clear boundaries, and think being helpful is a sign of weakness.
• Remember you're probably not alone. Everyone is at their most hypocritical at work, but it's likely the asshole is also a asshole to your coworkers.