Zompist Bboard Again

That's almost unparsably confusing.

Man in Space wrote: ↑Sat Oct 12, 2024 8:00 pm Bristol boy shot when a toddler raises £8k for hospital

If a film/TV producer hasn't optioned that headline yet, there's something seriously wrong.

I just encountered this one: US-Iranian journalist believed to have been detained in Iran (from La Graune).

Maybe it's just me, but on first reading and afterthought too I thought this meant something like "the journalist was detained (we're not sure about the deets) and no longer is". Apologies, not a great Confusing Headline, especially coming immediately on the heels of the last one!

fusijui wrote: ↑Sun Nov 03, 2024 8:47 am I just encountered this one: US-Iranian journalist believed to have been detained in Iran (from La Graune).

Maybe it's just me, but on first reading and afterthought too I thought this meant something like "the journalist was detained (we're not sure about the deets) and no longer is". Apologies, not a great Confusing Headline, especially coming immediately on the heels of the last one!

I can read this three ways:

1. Journo was previously held in Iran, but is no longer
2. The journo that we all thought was held somewhere has traveled to Iran
3. Journo is missing but we now think he’s in Iran

Man in Space wrote: ↑Sun Nov 03, 2024 12:30 pm I can read this three ways:

1. Journo was previously held in Iran, but is no longer
2. The journo that we all thought was held somewhere has traveled to Iran
3. Journo is missing but we now think he’s in Iran

Kinda wish you hadn't done that. Feeling wobbly now. Like I need to go get my parser degaussed or something.

This one from the Washington Post, courtesy of the Language Log:

On Baalbek’s edges, the displaced watch strikes rain down on their city

The Guardian wants you to know: US tourist killed while on vacation in Hungary as suspect taken into custody

The suspect was taken into custody while the tourist was being killed?

Or was the person taken into custody a US tourist visiting Hungary in the role of suspect?

first read goes to: a man was on vacation in hungary. he was taken into custody as a suspect. then he was killed.

of course, i'd write that as a normal person: american tourist arrested by hungarian cups and killed (blood lettering)

A great one, not from a headline but from a random Discord conversation:

‘I just ate myself’

The intention was for ‘myself’ to act as emphasis. Alas, it reads differently without a comma…

From the Irish Times' Irish election lifeblog:

Last month’s shock departure of Fine Gael minister Heather Humphreys – who held a seat since 2011 - led Sinn Féin to field a late candidate, councillor Cathy Bennett, a theatre manager in Monaghan town.

They allow dead people to run in elections in Ireland? And to manage theaters?

This one from CNN really threw me: US left facing a difficult situation in Syria as rebels make massive advances against Assad regime

I thought the article would be about conflicts among US leftists over who to support, the Islamist rebels or the oppressive government.

Posted by Gretchen McCulloch in various places on the internet:
Plaque: In loving memory of
Nicole Campbell
Who never saw a dog and didn't smile.

From a video title. It's not really confusing, but for some reason I read it with an apostrophe after "Researchers".

YouTube wrote:Researchers report stunning surge of misogyny after the election

Qwynegold wrote: ↑Thu Dec 26, 2024 3:29 pm From a video title. It's not really confusing, but for some reason I read it with an apostrophe after "Researchers".

YouTube wrote:Researchers report stunning surge of misogyny after the election

It can nonetheless be contrived:

- Researchers report increased misogyny in the post-election period
- Researchers chose to wait until after the election to report on misogyny
- The researchers’ report, for whatever reason, has been somehow stunning the rising tide of misogyny following the election
- The researchers have found some method of stunning misogynists, presumably to shut them up, after the election

From the Sydney Morning Herald:

World No.2 Swiatek says doping process ‘fair’ and support appreciated

bradrn wrote: ↑Fri Dec 27, 2024 4:20 am From the Sydney Morning Herald:

World No.2 Swiatek says doping process ‘fair’ and support appreciated

- Is Swiatek the vice-whatever of world affairs or is he Earth-2’s variant?
- Is he talking about testing for doping, or promoting some sort of doping method?
- “Fair” as in “equitable” or “fair” as in “mid”?
- Does he appreciate the support or commanding us to support those who are appreciated?

Man in Space wrote: ↑Fri Dec 27, 2024 8:01 am

bradrn wrote: ↑Fri Dec 27, 2024 4:20 am From the Sydney Morning Herald:

World No.2 Swiatek says doping process ‘fair’ and support appreciated

- Is Swiatek the vice-whatever of world affairs or is he Earth-2’s variant?
- Is he talking about testing for doping, or promoting some sort of doping method?
- “Fair” as in “equitable” or “fair” as in “mid”?
- Does he appreciate the support or commanding us to support those who are appreciated?

- Iga Swiatek is the current No.2 woman’s tennis player in the world
- She is talking about testing for doping (though you would be forgiven for thinking otherwise…)
- ‘Fair’ as in ‘equitable’
- The former, I should hope!

My headcanon says that Iga Swiatek is saying that doping is fair and is requesting support for it.

Man in Space wrote: ↑Thu Dec 26, 2024 5:42 pmIt can nonetheless be contrived:

- Researchers report increased misogyny in the post-election period
- Researchers chose to wait until after the election to report on misogyny
- The researchers’ report, for whatever reason, has been somehow stunning the rising tide of misogyny following the election
- The researchers have found some method of stunning misogynists, presumably to shut them up, after the election

Ah, you found even more ways. I only thought of "after the election, researchers wrote a report that's really biased against women".

From the Irish Times:

Man charged over fatal collision in Blanchardstown in which husband and wife died

So this gentleman was in a trigamous bisexual group marriage, and then he allegedly caused a collision in which both his husband and his wife died?