elemtilas wrote: ↑Mon Feb 21, 2022 2:45 pm
Your death was not in vain.
ní raibh do bhás ar neamhní
If
ar neamhní (lit. "on nothing") is an idiom, I'm not familiar with it. The usual way of saying "for nothing" in either the sense of "for free" or "in vain" is
in aisce. If you're worried about the ambiguity, you could also say
gan chúis "without cause".
elemtilas wrote:I love you until the end of time.
Is breá liom tú go dtí deireadh an ama
LOL.
Is breá liom literally means "is fine with me"; I've never heard it used for romantic or platonic love, only when talking about objects or experiences. And
go dtí deireadh an ama is completely unidiomatic.
For "I love you", I say
tá grá agam ort; some people say
tá grá agam duit. Is there a reason why this is simple present rather than future?
For "until the end of time", Irish has the literal equivalent
go hearr aimsire and several fitting idioms, including:
i gcaitheamh an domhain "while the world lasts"
go lá dheireadh an domhain "until the last day of the world"
go deo na deor "while there are still tears"
fad is a bheas grian ag dul deiseal "as long as the sun will follow its course"
elemtilas wrote:Beidh mé ag cuimhneamh ar do gháire
elemtilas wrote:My boy is taken from me
Tógtar mo bhuachaill uaim
my heart is ripped from my breast
tá mo chroí sracadh as mo chíche
In both these cases, wouldn't you say the tense is actually (recent) past rather than present? That is "is taken" is really a slightly archaic way of saying "has been taken", in which case I'd prefer a verbal noun construction for both.
Tá mo bhuachaill tógtha uaim.
Tá an croí tarraingthe as an mbrollach orm.
(You could also say
as mo bhrollach, of course, but I think this sounds better with an adversative dative.)
elemtilas wrote:I'd be looking for better word choices, older, deeper, more meaningful, non-slangy word choices. Like if "ciche" usually means chicken breast, then I'd want something different!
If you want to make it more literary, some changes you could make are:
1. Synthetic forms instead of analytic:
ní dhéanfaidh mé > ní dhéanfad
beidh mé > bead
2. Dative plurals:
ar do shúile > ar do shúilibh
ar do lámha > ar do lámhaibh
Synthetic forms are still used dialectally, chiefly in Munster. Dative plurals are also still found in Munster, but only really in fossilised forms.