Confusing headlines

[Lērisama]

Next boss warns of 'dramatic' fall in entry-level jobs

I'm still trying to work out what exactly happened to the last one, but it can't have been good for the new one to say that.

[Raphael]

Next boss warns of 'dramatic' fall in entry-level jobs

I'm still trying to work out what exactly happened to the last one, but it can't have been good for the new one to say that.

And I kind of wonder whether it's somehow clear from the context about which boss we're talking.

[Travis B.]

I didn't know that 'Next' was a company extant today -- and the only company with a name of that sort I knew of was NeXT, a computer company founded by Steve Jobs after he left Apple which ultimately was bought out by Apple.

[Raphael]

I didn't know that 'Next' was a company extant today -- and the only company with a name of that sort I knew of was NeXT, a computer company founded by Steve Jobs after he left Apple which ultimately was bought out by Apple.

Oh, now it makes sense! Thank you!

[bradrn]

Whey protein is running out as food companies put it in everything

Not an intrinsically confusing headline, except that I keep on misreading ‘whey’ as ‘why’…

[alice]

Whey protein is running out as food companies put it in everything

Not an intrinsically confusing headline, except that I keep on misreading ‘whey’ as ‘why’…

That happened to me too when I first saw it.

Of course, the ambiguity of "running out" leads to the impression that the whey protein is escaping from a factory or something.

[bradrn]

Not a headline, but a great one spotted by a coworker in a textbook footnote:

Multiply lux times 93.02 to obtain foot candles

[Man in Space]

Not a headline, but a great one spotted by a coworker in a textbook footnote:

Multiply lux times 93.02 to obtain foot candles

The Shrek 25th anniversary celebrations are getting weird.

[Travis B.]

A Drug Against War by KMFDM

[jcb]

Wait till you try root beer.

Hey! Root beer is good!

Yes, but you're American, that's the point. Non-Americans generally think it's horrible.

I'm American, but didn't try root beer for the first time until I was about 20 years old. I thought it was good, but when I buy soda, there are other flavors I prefer more.

But Coca Cola, (and to a lesser extent Pepsi), you couldn't pay me to drink it!

[Travis B.]

But Coca Cola, (and to a lesser extent Pepsi), you couldn't pay me to drink it!

I personally am not a fan of Coca Cola myself.

[Man in Space]

But Coca Cola, (and to a lesser extent Pepsi), you couldn't pay me to drink it!

I personally am not a fan of Coca Cola myself.

I moderately prefer Coca-Cola to Pepsi but will not decline the latter if it is the only available option. I prefer Red Bull to both, and enjoy(ed) some level of infamy at both my current workplace and my prior one for my consumption thereof. (I cannot stand most coffees, and regardless of that most coffees set off my Crohn’s, though soft drinks do not.)

[Travis B.]

But Coca Cola, (and to a lesser extent Pepsi), you couldn't pay me to drink it!

I personally am not a fan of Coca Cola myself.

I moderately prefer Coca-Cola to Pepsi but will not decline the latter if it is the only available option. I prefer Red Bull to both, and enjoy(ed) some level of infamy at both my current workplace and my prior one for my consumption thereof. (I cannot stand most coffees, and regardless of that most coffees set off my Crohn’s, though soft drinks do not.)

I drink significant quantities of coffee but require my coffee to include either generous amounts of creamer or half and half plus sugar. However, I find if I drink too much coffee I get slightly unpleasant psychoactive effects akin to a very mild mixed episode...

[Raphael]

I'm one of the three people in the world who like both coffee a nd tea a lot. Sometimes I make myself one mug of each at the same time. But this is getting off topic.

[Man in Space]

I drink significant quantities of coffee but require my coffee to include either generous amounts of creamer or half and half plus sugar. However, I find if I drink too much coffee I get slightly unpleasant psychoactive effects akin to a very mild mixed episode...

I’ve sent myself into caffeine intoxication twice, both times in college, both times regretted. A “feeling of impending doom” seems to be a common symptom thereof, which I can confirm firsthand.

[Raphael]

I drink significant quantities of coffee but require my coffee to include either generous amounts of creamer or half and half plus sugar. However, I find if I drink too much coffee I get slightly unpleasant psychoactive effects akin to a very mild mixed episode...

I’ve sent myself into caffeine intoxication twice, both times in college, both times regretted. A “feeling of impending doom” seems to be a common symptom thereof, which I can confirm firsthand.

Hm. I think there were occasions when I wasn't feeling kinda bad and wasn't sure whether it was too much caffeine or caffeine withdrawal syndromes.

[WeepingElf]

Not a headline, but I have found a nice garden path sentence in one of my own posts I made not long ago:

And because they are meant to exist in the real world, I like the style of the ancient IE languages ever since I learned Latin in school, and I find it easier to build an a posteriori than an a priori language, I have decided that my Elves would speak an IE and thus a posteriori conlang.

Before you reach the second comma, it seems as if I stated that they are meant to exist in the real world was the reason why I like the style of the ancient IE languages ever since I learned Latin in school, which is of course nonsense

[Raphael]

From a ZBB thread:

Ah, thanks! I had only vague memories of the process in proto-Germanic

You don't come across as that old to me at all, Ares Land!

[Ares Land]

From a ZBB thread:

Ah, thanks! I had only vague memories of the process in proto-Germanic

You don't come across as that old to me at all, Ares Land!

Tell that to my kids!

[Man in Space]

This just popped up in Firefox, via Rolling Stone:

Afroman Sues Officer Who Raided His Home, Sued Him, and Lost

In other words, the officer raided Afroman's home, then unsuccessfully sued Afroman, and now Afroman is firing back. My first reading, I figured it was a typo--"Afroman Sues Officer Who Raided His Home" X "Afroman Sued [someone] and Lost".