If you're Roman...
- You believe deep down in the Empire, established by God as the only legitimate government this side of the Endtimes.
- You're familiar with the lives of Saints, various stories from the Bible, Stabat Mater Dolorosa, the maschera plays, the Miser, l'Ussignulu, tales of la Striga, la Romance da Troja, la Chronica d'Egyptia, la Romance dello Re Grimaldo ellu nove Prudu. You know by heart several poems by Romanu Macellariu, Joasaph Studitu or Philip Philipulu.
- You know how calziu and pelotta are played. If male, you like to play rough, and you consider a calciu game if nobody's hurt. If you live in the city, you're an horse racing fanatic and you can argue intricate point about race horses.
- You don't work on Sundays, on major holidays (which come about three or four times a month), or on those holidays that are customarily observed in your profession.
- You believe in God, and of course you're an Orthodox Christian (Except if you're Jewish or Turcu.) In any case you've been approached by itinerant preachers, who can be con artists or holy men, and sometimes both.
- If you're Christian, you're aware of Jews and Muslims. You think they are pagans or heretics, but acceptable ones, since they've always been there (or so you think).
- Pitta, fogaccia, boiled or fried tripe are all cheap food sold by street vendors.
- Your place is heated in the winter. You don't necessarily kill your own food but you've already done so. You have a dirt floor. You eat at a table, sitting on a chair. If you don't live in the city, you have a privy which you will need to empty regularly.
- If you live in the city, you will go to the public baths whenever possible and your home is connected to the sewers. If you live in the country, you have a privy and a sewer pit that you'll need to empty regularly.
- You don't consider insects, dogs, cats, monkeys, or guinea pigs to be food, but snails, horses and donkeys are.
- The cursu -- the postal relays -- are fairly dependable. If you can afford it, you can entrust mail to a cursu messenger and if you need to travel, you know you will find inns to rest at regular intervals. The empire maintains the roads, and grants licenses to innkeepers and messengers.
- You don't except to travel more than a few miles from home, though. You hope to go on a pilgrimage to Rome, Jerusalem or another holy place at least once in your lifetime.
- People from far away look different, and some of them have a very pale or very dark complexion which you'll comment on at length. But the real question is whether you know their family or not.
- You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. If you had problems with a customer, a partner, a supplier or a neighbour, you could take them to court. But matters of honor require retribution and you will readily take matters into your own hands.
- You have learned 'correct' vulgar Latin or demotic Greek, well enough to communicate with someone outside your native province, and indeed you could get by anywhere with these. You know a bit of classical Latin and/or Greek, enough for Mass and saying your prayers.
- You had a few years of school, until you were twelve or so; if you're a craftsman you learned your trade as an apprentice after that. Education beyond that is very expensive, although a gifted boy may receive a scholarship.
- The only things sold in bottle are medicine, spirits and garo (fish sauce).
- Years are reckoned by day, month and indiction number: lundi, le 25 Jennariu, 13e eddezioni or from the creation of the world: 7528 Anno Mundi.
- The decimal point is a small vertical bar called a separatrici.
- A million is cendo myrie. There's no particular word for a thousand times a million.
- You believe that no war is just. But as long Romans behave honorably on the battlefield and only go to war to defend themselves, God will be on your side. The Lithuanian war ended all right, but with a great deal of suffering, since the impious actions of mad emperors almost lost them God's favor.
- You expect marriages to be made for love, not arranged by third parties, unless you are from a patrician family. Marriages happen in church. You have a best man and a maid or matron of honor at the wedding-- a friend or a sibling. And, naturally, a man gets only one wife at a time.
- If a man has sex with another man, that's a sin. Though it's a forgiveable one, especially if he's young and unmarried. And of course, if he's a monk or in the army, well, it's only to be expected.
- Once you're introduced to someone, you may call them Don or Donna, followed by their first name: Don Marcu, Donna Constanza unless they're a part of the nobility.
- If you're a woman, you're certainly not showing your breasts anywhere, except if you're nursing. Showing arms or ankles is already a little immodest, whether you're a man or a woman.
- The better class of inns will have a common bath.
- If you have to deal with the government, a bribe isn't necessary... but it won't hurt either.
- There's nothing particularly noteworthy about a statesman cheating on his wife.
- You don't really trust paper money and would rather pay and be paid with good old-fashioned coins. If you ever buy a house, or make a similar large purchase, you could use a little of credit.
- You wouldn't eat your bacon crisp.
- The New Year is at the end of summer.
- The Empire is the only truly civilized place; everything else is barbarian. You don't think or know much about exotic places such as Persia or Russia, anyway, unless you live close to the border.
- You can count on good medical treatment. You know you're not likely to die of cholera or of smallpox, but the last typhus epidemic is still in living memory. Of course, doctors will do whatever they can to save very ill babies or people in their eighties, but there's only so much they can do. Dying in your sixties is sad, but not unexceptional.
- You greatly enjoy history, and even in remote villages you'll find people knowledgeable about, say, the Grechi, the Felicians or Alexander the Great. On the other hand, you know nothing about the history of other parts of the world.
- The military are, of course, involved in politics. You know the name of the Grand Domestic and perhaps of several important military commanders as well.
- There is little choice or variety as such in anything you buy. If you buy tools or furniture, they have been made by hand, and you expect them to last you a lifetime or more.
- You measure things in feet, pounds and gallons.
- You are a farmer. If not, you dream of having a little farm of your own and growing vines and a few olive trees.
- The people who appear on the most popular talk shows are mostly entertainers, politicians, or rather strange individuals. Certainly not, say, authors.
- If you drive or ride a horse, it's customary to stick to the left side of the road.
- The serriendi d'arme are armed with swords and clubs, but not with guns.
- If a woman is plumper than the average, it rather improves her looks.
- The biggest meal of the day is in the evening.
- People most often make jokes about the clergy.
- There's parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night.
- The emperor in Aquileia would listen to your kind of people, if he wasn't deceived by corrupt and incompetent advisors.
- The nomisma and the denariu aren't what they used to be, and so you always examine new coins carefully for signs of debasement. There's no connection that you know of between that and being out of work, though.
- You care very much what family someone comes from.
- The normal thing, when a couple dies, is for their estate to be divided equally between their children.
- You think of opera and ballet as rather elite entertainments, but you have seen quite a few plays.
- Christmas is in winter. Unless you're Jewish or Turcu, you celebrate it with family and friends, and decorate your house with evergreens, candles and fruit. There's often a village or neighbourhood and feast, and more generally loud parties. You give presents on St Basil's Day (January, 1st).
- Separation of Church and State is inconceivable. The Church is simply a part of the State, and the State is itself subject to Church rulings.
- You are probably unable to name any foreign capital or ruler.
- Vetture (horse drawn carriages for hire) are usually driven by locals, which may swindle you but are otherwise knowledgeable about the city.
- Monasteries will take care of the poor as their charitable duty. There's nothing shameful about handouts and in fact if you're wealthy enough it's your duty to provide for the poor.
- You need to be a magister to be a physician, but not a doctor unless you're doing research. If you're a healer, then someone (probably in your family) has passed on the gift to you.
- There sure are a lot of monks.
- If you have an appointment, you'll mutter an excuse if you're an hour late and if you're meeting with someone important.
- If you're talking to someone, you'll stand about a foot away. Anything farther away would make you feel uncomfortable.
- You bargain for everything. You don't want to be taken for a fool, do you?
- It is natural to show up at a friend's place, unless you're royalty or a similarly lofty figure. You don't expect an invitation for anything other than a baptism, a wedding or a funeral.
- When you negotiate, it's better to be indirect about what you want. You think that being too direct is rude.
- If you have a business appointment or interview with someone, you expect the business to last a few hours. You don't expect to have the person to yourself: naturally, he'll be interrupted by other people.
