Venting thread

[Rounin Ryuuji]

Progress is good.

[malloc]

This may sound absurd or gross, but it seems like I am developing erectile dysfunction. Not sure why since I have none of the risk factors. I really don't feel comfortable seeing a doctor about this and honestly don't know how I would explain the problem to them. From the standpoint of most people where I live, after all, an unmarried man like me has no legitimate use for sexuality and should hardly mourn his impotence.

[Rounin Ryuuji]

This may sound absurd or gross, but it seems like I am developing erectile dysfunction. Not sure why since I have none of the risk factors. I really don't feel comfortable seeing a doctor about this and honestly don't know how I would explain the problem to them.

This could be a sign of some underlying problem of which you're unaware. One thing I've learnt about doctors — they've all seen something more bizarre than you, and so tend not to be very judgemental about issues like this (they're trained to deal with it, after all). Such a change without any explanation, I might find alarming.

From the standpoint of most people where I live, after all, an unmarried man like me has no legitimate use for sexuality and should hardly mourn his impotence.

And this is why we have medical privacy laws. Nobody in your community needs to know, and, if a medical professional reveals them, that can be career-ending.

[Linguoboy]

This may sound absurd or gross

It's neither.

but it seems like I am developing erectile dysfunction. Not sure why since I have none of the risk factors.

Not even depression? In the midst of a pandemic where it's widespread?

I really don't feel comfortable seeing a doctor about this and honestly don't know how I would explain the problem to them.

Like literally how you just described it to us? They're doctors. Listening without judgment while patients tell them about their symptoms is a core part of their job description.

IME, doctors give out medicine for ED like it's candy. I'm actually surprised to discover that Sildenafil (Viagra) is no longer among the top 50 best-selling prescription meds in the USA.

[malloc]

Not even depression? In the midst of a pandemic where it's widespread?

Apart from this latest problem, I am no more depressed than usual. Certainly there wasn't any jump in my depression level in the past few weeks that could trigger something like this.

Like literally how you just described it to us? They're doctors. Listening without judgment while patients tell them about their symptoms is a core part of their job description.

They still have social and political biases. My doctor might react quite negatively to me bringing up sexual issues and especially wanting the ability to have sex even outside of marriage.

[Ares Land]

They still have social and political biases. My doctor might react quite negatively to me bringing up sexual issues and especially wanting the ability to have sex even outside of marriage.

Go see your doctor. If he does act like an asshole and if you can work up the courage, just tell him to go fuck himself. Some doctors need to hear that more often IMO.
Then go see another one. People have taken to compile list of safe doctors (an excellent initiative), maybe there's one for your area.

But I'm pretty sure you'll be fine. If your doctor is the prejudiced types, IIRC you're a straight white male which makes you all right in the eyes of the LORD for these types.

[alice]

malloc,

Don't talk yourself out of seeing the doctor. Doctors are among the least judgemental professional people there are.

[Rounin Ryuuji]

Just going to echo again — go see the doctor. It's hopefully nothing, but you never know and it might save you from an easily preventable death.

[Linguoboy]

Apart from this latest problem, I am no more depressed than usual. Certainly there wasn't any jump in my depression level in the past few weeks that could trigger something like this.

But you're usually pretty depressed, right? There's not necessarily one "trigger" for issues like these. It can be from an interaction of factors. But since ED can be a symptom of heart diseases and other disorders, it's not a bad idea to have yourself checked for physical causes.

My doctor might react quite negatively to me bringing up sexual issues and especially wanting the ability to have sex even outside of marriage.

Your doctor might secretly be a serial killer who chloroforms patients and skins them in their basement. But do you have any well-grounded reason to think so? If yes, get another doctor. If no, then go ahead and make an appointment. The same holds vis-à-vis their attitude towards sex!

Honestly, if this is a doctor you've seen before, it shouldn't be a complete mystery what their attitude toward sexual issues is. They should have already taken a sexual history (i.e. asked you about what kind of sexual partners you have, what you do with them, how often, and so forth) and--assuming you are active--ordered STI tests for you. If they haven't done that, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're anti-sex; some doctors won't initiate these conversations if they sense that a patient isn't receptive. Still, you should find out where they stand sooner rather than later and change physicians if necessary. Sexual health is health and it's too important to ignore.

(This has been a public service message from an old fag who's regularly had to prod doctors to ask him about butt stuff.)

[Rounin Ryuuji]

old

Never would've guessed.

[Linguoboy]

old

Never would've guessed.

*squints in Fry*

[Rounin Ryuuji]

old

Never would've guessed.

*squints in Fry*

Now I'm not sure I understand what this is supposed to mean.

[alice]

*squints in Fry*

Now I'm not sure I understand what this is supposed to mean.

Is it a reference to Futurama? Or something to do with chocolate?

[Rounin Ryuuji]

I think there's also a comedian called Fry, but I'm still not sure. I don't know much about the comedian, and I'm not exactly a fan of Futurama, either.

[doctor shark]

I've been having some major back pain flare-ups for quite a while, especially over the past three months. The thing is, well, we're in the middle of a pandemic, so I certainly don't feel comfortable seeing a doctor for anything less than catastrophic given the current circumstances. (Not to mention I haven't heard anything about my attempt to register with a GP, apart from them charging my insurance for a "registration fee"!)

[Rounin Ryuuji]

Oh, my; perhaps you ought to try for another practitioner, then?

[quinterbeck]

Now I'm not sure I understand what this is supposed to mean.

It refers to the classic image macro meme

[malloc]

Honestly, if this is a doctor you've seen before, it shouldn't be a complete mystery what their attitude toward sexual issues is. They should have already taken a sexual history (i.e. asked you about what kind of sexual partners you have, what you do with them, how often, and so forth) and--assuming you are active--ordered STI tests for you. If they haven't done that, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're anti-sex; some doctors won't initiate these conversations if they sense that a patient isn't receptive. Still, you should find out where they stand sooner rather than later and change physicians if necessary. Sexual health is health and it's too important to ignore.

My current doctor works for an intensely conservative religious hospital with religious propaganda festooned everywhere. Furthermore he comes from a rather conservative culture. It seems safe to assume that he would not approve of sex outside of marriage and therefore have no reason to treat my erectile dysfunction unless I claim to have gotten married in the last few months. Changing doctors at this point would require cutting through vast amounts of red tape (even putting aside the whole covid thing) and driving quite some way, possibly to another state.

[Rounin Ryuuji]

That screams all sorts of medical ethics violations.

[Linguoboy]

Honestly, if this is a doctor you've seen before, it shouldn't be a complete mystery what their attitude toward sexual issues is. They should have already taken a sexual history (i.e. asked you about what kind of sexual partners you have, what you do with them, how often, and so forth) and--assuming you are active--ordered STI tests for you. If they haven't done that, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're anti-sex; some doctors won't initiate these conversations if they sense that a patient isn't receptive. Still, you should find out where they stand sooner rather than later and change physicians if necessary. Sexual health is health and it's too important to ignore.

My current doctor works for an intensely conservative religious hospital with religious propaganda festooned everywhere. Furthermore he comes from a rather conservative culture. It seems safe to assume that he would not approve of sex outside of marriage

1. It’s not “safe to assume”.
2. If it is true it still doesn’t mean he’s incapable of behaving ethically and separating his personal beliefs from his professional behaviour.

You asked for advice, E, and you got advice: Talk to your doctor. If you don’t want to take that advice then there’s nothing more to discuss and this topic should be considered closed.