The Contradictory Feelings Thread

[Nachtswalbe]

Good luck!

[Nachtswalbe]

I hate that all opportunities in my adult life were dependent on my parents pushing me to take them

[Nachtswalbe]

Is it possible to ask to be detained in an asylum as being mentally incompetent

[Nachtswalbe]

One of my mom’s favorite lines to say when confronted with her behavior is:”There are worse people/families than me/ours”

[Man in Space]

One of my mom’s favorite lines to say when confronted with her behavior is:”There are worse people/families than me/ours”

Nachtswalbe, I am asking this in 100% seriousness based on this and the other thread: Are you in any imminent danger to your person?

[Rounin Ryuuji]

Today I marched with my colleagues for recognition of our union organisation. On the one hand it feels great to finally be able to talk openly about what we've been organising in secret for over a year. On the other it's a little terrifying to think what the hugely wealthy and notoriously anti-labour institution I work for is going to do in response.

To you I wish all imaginable success, to the business only that it may endeavour to deserve you.

[Nachtswalbe]

One of my mom’s favorite lines to say when confronted with her behavior is:”There are worse people/families than me/ours”

Nachtswalbe, I am asking this in 100% seriousness based on this and the other thread: Are you in any imminent danger to your person?

No, and the worst incidents occured when a)I had manchild tantrums and when I was brought home on weekends to review what b)I had learned in class/to prepare for tests and I was cluelessly stupid, and the response to that was merely a) verbal threats, including saying that since I said I should kms I should actually do it and b) yelling at me and forcing me to stay up all night until I successfully reviewd

[Nachtswalbe]

I am physically unharmed rn

[hwhatting]

Today I marched with my colleagues for recognition of our union organisation. On the one hand it feels great to finally be able to talk openly about what we've been organising in secret for over a year. On the other it's a little terrifying to think what the hugely wealthy and notoriously anti-labour institution I work for is going to do in response.

I wish you luck!

[Raholeun]

I have been working on a new language for the past half a year or so, but found myself scrapping all of the progress made. About thirty text processor pages were stripped down to.. scribbles in notebooks. I am not sure I will restore the document, which although exceedingly simple in this digital age, feels almost impossible. As if the Rubicon of conlanging has been crossed.

The reason for scraping it is that it was shaping into a regular grammar like you'd see so often. This caused the whole document to become really quite bland, while the prose that forms the backstory to the language and its speakers is not (in my opinion, rather it is supposed to be quite psychedelic). However, the prose was not written in English. Often I lament the fact that I cannot write elegently in my mother tongue, and writing fiction or a conlang grammar in English feels like a betrayal to that native language and my desire to master it.

Should I then keep the current grammar scrapped and re-do it in another language, knowing that nobody will read it when it is not in English? Conlanging is very niche activity, and the group of people who are willing to read through a conlanging grammar very small. Taking that group and eliminating from it all people who aren't fluent in Dutch leaves a solipsistically tiny group.

[zompist]

Should I then keep the current grammar scrapped and re-do it in another language, knowing that nobody will read it when it is not in English?

My immediate advice: save the longer work you did. In the heat of the moment, you may feel that a bit of writing is crap. And it may be! But it is probably much more salvageable than you think. Wait a bit, then re-read it and think about what is actually wrong with it, and see if you can make it better.

More specifically, it sounds like you think the grammar itself was bland. That's, well, normal? I mean, I love languages, I may find a particular culture fascinating, but I don't expect grammars to be fascinating and psychedelic. The language itself may be weird, but that doesn't mean you have to explain it in a weird way.

That said, it can be fun to write a grammar as your own people would— cf. my grammar of Cadhinor as written by a Verdurian. (Note however that while some people have enjoyed that, others have said they'd prefer a normal bland grammar!)

[Ares Land]

I don't have a satisfying answer to the language question either. I'm a better writer in French. But I figure a grammar calls for more technical language, not for dazzling prose, so English it is.

An odd thing I've noticed: if I've been reading a lot in English, writing in English comes much more easily and writing in French is harder. It's also true the other way around. If I've been reading in French, writing in English gets more difficult. It's weird.

[Vardelm]

I don't have a satisfying answer to the language question either. I'm a better writer in French. But I figure a grammar calls for more technical language, not for dazzling prose, so English it is.

Wait, are you saying French is capable of dazzling prose and English is not?

As a monolingual English speaker, I FEEL ATTACKED!!!!

[Raholeun]

Thanks for the advice zompist and Ares Land. My plan currently is to stop work on the conlang for some time and gather my thoughts. Maybe I will get a luminous idea that will allow me to intertwine the grammar with the prose in a more nifty way.

[MacAnDàil]

I don't have a satisfying answer to the language question either. I'm a better writer in French. But I figure a grammar calls for more technical language, not for dazzling prose, so English it is.

An odd thing I've noticed: if I've been reading a lot in English, writing in English comes much more easily and writing in French is harder. It's also true the other way around. If I've been reading in French, writing in English gets more difficult. It's weird.

The technical language for French generally exists though. Unless I've misunderstood you?

[Ares Land]

Oh, yes, of course. But I use English mostly so I can occasionally share stuff here.

[Nachtswalbe]

Apparently I don't know if my female friend considers me to be her friend but i don't know how to ask politely

[Raphael]

(Slightly re-stating something I already posted in this thread a while ago...)

I seem to enjoy the process of getting things ready to be used more than the process of actually using them.

[doctor shark]

Some potentially interesting assistant professorship (tenure-track) positions are opening up in Sweden, and now that I have two years' postdoc experience (plus lots of minion management experience as well), I figure it might be nice to give them a go. Professorships are, however, notoriously competitive to apply for, plus I don't have experience closer to the upper end of what they're looking for (the limit is 7 years, and I'll have had ~2.5 when the call closes). Still thinking of giving it a go, if not to get experience with the process, but...

[Raphael]

Hm. I dunno about that. But I hope that whatever choice you make works out for you!