Team 2 is here, or at the bottom of this post below Team 1.
The Results for Team 1 are finally in!
Here is the original text, taken from the literary classic “Hogar, Lord of the Asyr,” one of the many (many) sf/f novels that grace my shelf by the sheer merit of having an incredibly stupid cover and title. It reads like a slightly more coherent Eye of Argon, with every other word replaced by some invented term designed to sound vaguely Norse. This passage actually has a lower than usual density of pseudo-Norse terminology, but was mostly chosen for having a higher than normal density of cringe-worthy sex.
When they had ungirded their loins, he knew her; and she knew for the first time of love's fierce sweetness. The mare whinnied once, when she cried out; then all was still but for the pounding of two young hearts.
When they had taken their fill of love, Hogar and Ragnahild walked naked to the tarn, where they bathed themselves and splashed each other playfully. It was then he asked her concerning the mark above her left breast.
“It is not a birthmark, if that be what you surmise,” she told him. “It is my swan-mark.”
“A swan maiden,” Hogar half whispered, as though to himself.
“I am but a novice of the order,” said Ragnahild, indicating her unfeathered initiate's cloak. “This was my first combat with a man. A swan maiden may take a husband or a lover, but she must accept the first man who bests her in battle, or be slain. Either by him or by her own hand. I am glad thou were the one, Hogar Bloodsword, for I love thee.” For a moment she lapsed into the Old Tongue of the skalds. “I carry thy seed in my womb. I shall bare thee a son, and he shall be called Hukert, one day King of the Asyr and the Vandir; and there shall be peace at last between our peoples.”
“The name Hukert has a good ring to it,” was the best reply Hogar could muster.
Here is Raphael's translation into German:
More: show
When they had both detached their loincloths, he knew her; and she knew for the first time of the tempestuous sweetness of love. The mare neighed once when she cried out; then everything was quiet apart from the forceful beating of the two young hearts.
When they had drunk enough of love, Hogar and Ragnahild went to the pool, where they bathed and playfully splashed one another wet. At this times [sic], he asked her about the mark above her left breast.
"It's not a birthmark, if that's what you think," she said to him. "It's my swan-mark."
"A swan-maiden," half-whispered Hogar, as if he said it only to himself.
"I am only a novice of the order," said Ragnahild and pointed to her detached novice robe. "This was my first fight with a man. A swan-maiden may take a husband or a lover, but she must accept the first man who beats her in combat, or die. Either through him or through her own hand. I am glad that you were the one, Hogar Bloodsword, because I love you." For a moment, she changed into the Old Tongue of the Skalds. "I carry your seed in me. I am going to bear you a son, and his name shall be Hukert, one day King of the Asyr and Vandir; and there shall finally be peace between our peoples."
"The name Hukert sounds good" was the best reply that occurred to Hogar.
More: show
Having removed their loincloths, he knew her, and she finally knew for the first time the tempestuous sweetness of love. The mare let forth a neigh when she cried; then everything was quiet, except from two young hearts beating strongly.
Having drunk from love until they had enough, Hogar and Ragnahilda went to the swimming pool, where they bathed, and slashed each other foolishly until they were wet. At this moment, he asked her about the mole on the left breast.
"This isn't a whim, if that's what you think", she said to him. "This is my mark of the swan."
"A swan-woman" whispered Hogar in a low voice, as if he was speaking only to himself.
"I am a novice of the order" said Ragnahilda, and she showed her novice tunic hanging.
"This was my first fight with a man. A swan-woman can marry or get a lover, but she has to accept the first man who defeats her in combat if she does not die, either by his/her hand, or by itself. I am happy that it was you, Hogar Bloodied Sword, because I love you." For a moment she changed the language to the Ancient Tongue of the bards. "I carry your seed in me. I will give the light to a son, and his name will be Hukert. One day he will be King of the Asyr and the Vandir, and there will be peace between our peoples."
"The name Hukert sounds good" was the best answer that occurred to Hogar.
More: show
Their clothes off, he knew her, and she finally learned of the tempestuous sweetness of love.
A mare neighed when she cried out, then all was quiet, except for two powerfully beating young hearts.
Drunk on love to satiation, Hogar and Ragnahilda went into the pool, where they bathed, and foolishly defiled the water.
Then he asked her about the mark on her left breast.
"That wasn't my doing, if that's what you're thinking," she told him. "That's the brand of the swan."
"The swan-woman," whispered Hogar under his breath, as though he were alone.
"I am the new order," said Ragnahilda, and indicated her discarded tunic again. "That was the first fight of mine with a man. The swan-woman can marry or fall in love, but it is in this undertaking that she was first defeated in battle - and her opponent didn't die, neither by another's hand, nor by her own. For that I am glad of you, Hogar Bloody-Sword, and so I love you." From that point she started moving and speaking in the ancient language of the Bards. "I take your seed inside me. I will give light to a son, and he will be called Hukert. He will be the future king of the Asyrs and Vandirs, and peace will be among our peoples."
"The name Hukert sounds good," was the best response Hogar could come up with.
More: show
If you’re wondering what in the hell happened with “if her opponent didn’t die, neither by her own hand…” well, linguoboy seems to have gone with “she must marry the first man to conquer her if she is not to die,” or “si no se moriré.” In Latin the one who conquers her and the part about not dying got smushed together because Latin syntax, and we ended up with “qui in pugna hanc vicit si non moreretur.” Wild. Note that Hukert is still Hukert because Finlay saw the Latin. Watch this space. Yiuel translated the Japanese text into Esperanto.
Undressing, learning of the girl, she first learn of the furious sweetness of love.
As she screamed, the horse cried. Then, save for the two young hearts beating strong, it became completely silent.
Until they were pleased, Horgal and Ragnahilda went into the pool, bathed and sullied the water.
Then he asked about the birthmark on her left breast.
“As I think, this is not my will,” she told him. “This is my Swan Branding”
“Swan Girl,” he said with a low voice as if speaking to himself.
“This is a new body,” said Ragnahilda, showing the dress she had taken off. “This is my first fight with a man. Swan women may love or marry, but being first vanquished by a man with being killed by man’s hand, I can accept. Thus I shall please you, Horgal Bloodysword. I shall love you.” Then she began to utter the old words of a Bard, “I receive your sperm into myself. Give light to the son, and be he named Fukert. In the future, he will be king of the Asil and Vandil, and he will make peace between our peoples.”
“Fukert seems like a nice name,” was the best answer he could give.
More: show
As he undressed and familiarised himself with the woman, she started to learn the furious sweetness of love. As she began to cry out, the mare cried as well. In any case, except for the two young hearts which fought energetically, all was quiet.
Once satisfied, Horgal and Ragnahilda entered the pool and there they bathed and dirtied the water. Then he asked about the birthmark on her right breast.
"I don't think this is my desire," she told him. "This is my swan brand."
"Swan woman," he peeped in a quiet voice, as if talking to himself.
"This is a new embodiment," Ragnahilda said, indicating her discarded clothing. "This was my first battle with a man. A swan woman can, among other things, love or marry, but for the first time having been conquered by a human in battle without dying at the hand of that man, I can now accept it. For that reason I pleasure you, Horgal Bloody-Sword. Let me love you." Then she began to intone ancient words of legendary poets. "I take your sperm within me. Let light be brought to our son, let his name be Fukert. In the days to come, he will become king to the people of Asil and Vandil, and bring a peace between our nations."
"Fukert seems a good name," was the only suitable response that he could give.
I really did not expect “As she began to cry out, the mare cried as well” to make it to the end mostly intact, although it does raise some questions about the mare’s role in all this “familiarizing.” And the part about falling in love with your conqueror is surprisingly coherent as well. Man, I may have to rethink my opinion of Esperanto as an effective medium for international communication. Thank you so much everyone who participated, and keep an eye out for team 2.
---And here is Team 2!---
Team 2, the “Duke Nukem Forever” of language telephones, is finally ready!
Here is the starting text. It's a short exert from a science fiction story that I found in... I believe Galaxy Magazine circa 1951? I chose it because the word play and dialogue seemed tricky even though the vocabulary was baby level. Turns out, it was nearly impossible to maintain accurately.
Suddenly the situation struck him as fantastically ridiculous—there was Pat carefully relating the story of Little Red Riding Hood to a humorless monstrosity of the night-side of Venus! The girl cast him a perplexed glance as he roared into a gale of laughter.
"Tell him the one about the traveling man and the farmer's daughter!" he said, choking. "See if you can get a smile from him!"
She joined his laughter. "But it's really a serious matter," she concluded. "Imagine it, Ham! Intelligent life on the dark side! Or are you intelligent?" she asked suddenly of the thing on the ice.
"I am intelligent," it assured her. "I'm intelligently intelligent."
"At least you're a marvelous linguist," said the girl. "Did you ever hear of learning English in half an hour, Ham? Think of that!" Apparently her fear of the creature had vanished.
"Well; let's make use of it," suggested Ham. "What's your name, friend?" There was no reply.
"Of course," put in Pat. "He can't tell us his name until we give it to him in English, and we can't do that because—Oh, well, let's call him Oscar, then. That'll serve."
"Good enough. Oscar, what are you, anyway?"
"Human, I'm a man."
"Eh? I'll be damned if you are!"
"Those are the words you've given me. To me I am a man to you."
"Wait a moment. 'To me I am—' I see, Pat. He means that the only words we have for what he considers himself are words like man and human. Well, what are your people, then?"
"People."
"I mean your race. What race do you belong to?"
"Human."
First vijay translated the text into Turkish.
More: show
More: show
"Tell it the one about the traveler and the farmer's daughter!" he gasped. "Try to make it laugh!"
The girl laughed with him. "But it is a serious matter," she stopped. "Ham, imagine! Intelligent life on the dark side! And are you intelligent?" she suddenly asked the thing on the ice.
"I am intelligent," it assured her. "Wisely intelligent."
"Anyway a wonderful linguist," the girl said. "Ham, do you know anything to teach it English for half an hour? Think about it!" It seemed her fear of the creature had left.
"Well let's try," Ham suggested. "Friend, what is your name?" There was no answer.
"Of course," Pat interjected. "Since it cannot tell us and we cannot name it until we give it an English name---anyway, in that case let its name be Oscar. That'll do."
"Okay. In that case, Oscar, what are you?"
"Human. I am a person."
"Oh? I am very surprised if you are human!"
"Those are words you gave to me. I think to you I am a person."
"A moment. "I think to you---" Pat, I understand. It's that in order to think what it is, it only has our words, like person, human. In that case, what is your people?"
"People."
"And your race. What is your race?"
"Human."
Zompist took on the task of translating the Old Chinese into Portuguese.
More: show
Tsegam gasped, saying, "Why not the story of the traveler and the farmer's daughter? Try to make it laugh.”
Nyabat laughed with him, then stopped. She said, "Yes, but this a serious matter. Tsegam, please think about it. There is a sentient being amid the darkness!"
Nyabat first looked at the creature above the ice, and asked it, “Are you sentient too?”
It said, “I certainly am sentient. I have sentience and wisdom.”
Nyabat said, “Even if you have no other one, you are essentially a language learner. Tsegam, have you heard of someone being able to temporarily teach English? Please worry about that.”
She seemed not to fear the creature any longer.
Tsegam had to say, “Yes, I’ll try. What is your name?"
No reply.
Nyabat said, “Right! I didn’t use an English name for it, so there is no answer, and I don’t have words. So, yes, its name will be Yanquo. That will do.”
He said, “Good. So, Yanquo, you are what?”
It said, “A human. I am a scholar.”
He said, "Hey! If you are a human, that is very strange."
It said, “This is indeed the name you gave me. I myself am. You are a scholar."
He said, “What did you say? ‘Myself am, you are a’… which is…. Nyabat, I am now clear. If you want what’s done, so there are humans, and there are scholars, he has the name I gave, and that’s all. If so, please, what are people?”
It said, "They are people."
He said, "If a human has offspring, what are they?"
It said, "They're humans."
In a parallel move to Team 1, ser de-aged the Portuguese back to Latin.
More: show
Chigam sighed, saying, "Why not the story of the traveler and the farmer's daughter? Try to make [me] laugh."
Nhabat laughed with him, and then she stopped. She said, "Yes, but that is a serious matter. Chigam, please, think about that. There is an intelligent being in the middle of the darkness!"
Nhabat looked first at the creature above the ice, and asked him [the creature], "Are you also intelligent?"
He said, "It's true that I am intelligent. I am intelligent and wise."
Nhabat said, "although you don't have anything else, you're essentially a language learner. Chigam, have you heard of anyone able to teach English for a short time? Please, be concerned about that."
She seemed to not be afraid of the creature anymore.
Chigam had to say, "I'll try, yes. What's your name?"
No answer.
Nhabat said, "Yes! I didn't use a name in English for him, therefore there is no answer, and I don't have words. So, yes, his name will be Yanquo. That'll do."
He said, "Alright. So, Yanquo, what are you?"
"I am a human. I am an expert."
"Hey! If you're a human, you look very weird."
"This is really the name that you gave me. I am myself. You are an expert."
He said, "What are you saying? 'I am myself, you are an...' What is... Nhabat, now I understand. If you want what is already done, then there are humans and there are experts, he has the name I gave him, and that is all. So, please, what is a person?" [Lit.: what are people?]
"A person is a person." [Lit.: they are people.]
"If a man has a progeny, what is he?"
"They are humans."
After that mistakes were made by someone at sometime, and long story short, Ryusenshi translated Latin to French about three and a half months later.
More: show
Chigam took his breath, and then said "Why don't you bring up the story of the traveller and the farmer's daughter? Try to make me laugh."
Nhabat laughed with him, then stopped. "I could do this", she said, "but this is serious. Chigam, I ask you, think about this. There is indeed something gifted with reason in the middle of the darkness!"
Nhabat, looking first at the beast standing over the frost, asking him "Is it possible", she said, "that you are gifted with reason?"
"It is true", he answered, "I am gifted with reason. I am indeed endowed with reason and intelligence."
"Even if", said Nhabat, "you had nothing else, you are really knowledgeable about languages. Chigam, have you heard about anyone who could teach the English tongue for some time? I ask you, look after it."
Nhabat seemed no longer afraid of the beast.
Chigam urgently said "I will try, I've heard you. What's your name?"
There was no answer.
"Right!" said Nhabat, "Since I have used no English name to call him, there is no answer, and I don't have one to say. [***] His name shall thus be Yanquo. It will suffice."
"He has well. So, Yanquo" said Chigam, "what are you?"
"I am human. I am an expert."
"Hey! If you are human, you surely look surprising."
"This is truly the name that you gave me. I am myself. You are an expert."
"What did you say?" he said. "'I am myself, you are...' What... Nhabat, now I understand. If you whant that which happened, then they are human, they are experts, and the name is what you gave him: that is all.[****] Now, I ask, what are men?"
"They are men."
"If a man has a progeny, what is it?"
"They are humans."[/i]
Then the Gods decided they hadn't toyed with us enough and ultimately Nerulent brought us home by translating the French back into English. Honestly, I'm kind of scared to show it to the public, because apparently looking at this text makes people disappear without a trace.
Unexpectedly, it was time to make him laugh. Nhabat was speaking by means of the wild, dark and unknown, beast, which came out of the darkness of the Great White, and from the story of the Girl with the Red Hood. Chigam laughed with warmth, while Nhabat watched him mysteriously.
Chigam took a breath, then he said, "why don't you tell the story of the traveller and the farmer's daughter? Try to make me laugh.
Nhabat laughed with him, then stopped herself. "I will do so," she said, "but this is serious. Chigam, I ask you, think on this. There is indeed something gifted with reason in the darkness!"
Nhabat, looking for the first time at the beast standing on the frost, asked it, "is it true that you are gifted with reason?"
"It is true," it answered, "that I am gifted with reason. I possess reason and intelligence."
"Besides," Nhabat said, "even if you have nothing else, you are indeed a knower of language. Chigam, would you have heard about someone who could teach the English language some time? I implore you to take care of this." Nhabat was no longer scared of the beast.
"I will try," Chigam said hurriedly, "I heard you. What is your name?"
There was no answer.
"Well!" said Nhabat. "Because I didn't use any name in English to name it, there wasn't any response, and I have nothing to say. Its name will henceforth be Yanquo. It will suffice."
"That works well," said Chigam. "So, Yanquo, what are you?"
"I am human. I am an expert."
"Huh! If you are human, you look really astonishing.
"It is really just the name you gave me. I am myself. You are an expert."
"So what are you saying?" he asked. "'I am myself, you are...' So what... Nhabat, now I understand. If you desire what has happened, then they are humans, they are experts, and its name is what I have given it; that is all. Well then, I ask, what are men?"
"These are men."
"If a man, has descendants, what are they?"
"They are humans."
Sorry you'll have to provide your own commentary to this one. Thank you all so much for contributing, and for being so patient!
